Guest Blog: Unemployed, Depressed and Searching for Hope

By Dr. Christina McCale

           “I can’t live like this,” I said to the person at the other end of the phone. I’d seen several flyers for free and sliding scale health services, to include mental health while making my very first visit to the Food Bank, and had picked one up. “I just know I can’t go on living this way.”

            It wasn’t the first time I’d come to this conclusion or had this conversation with a medical professional. But it was the first time I was having such a conversation with so few options due to the lack of insurance. I’d lost my health insurance when I had lost my full time job teaching at the university level: a career choice I had loved with every fiber of my being.

            Being a classic over-achiever who had worked three jobs while completing my doctorate; the stress of that coupled with two young children and a deteriorating marriage; and a family history full of stories of women who were plagued with “melancholy” or “the blues” had probably made me a prime candidate for depression, which, perhaps today, might have been diagnosed even earlier.

            So then throughout the remaining years of my doctoral program (and then, later, dissertation), the doctor continued monitoring me, adjusting my medication as need be. And things were relatively fine. Sure, there were bad days, even stressful, horrible days. After all, I passed my comprehensive exams, wrote my dissertation and ended my marriage all during these subsequent years.

            But all of that was manageable by comparison to what was to come.

            When my professional career as an academic, and the entire identity I had built for myself was suddenly yanked out from under me, I was left gasping for air and struggling to find any sense of self outside of what I had loved to do for the previous 10 years. Medication became the only way I could manage through the waves of sadness, the raging anger, and the sense of complete and utter ambiguity.

            I hadn’t even taken time off for maternity leave after the births of both of my children – in part because I had no such time to take as maternity leave did not apply to me as an adjunct faculty – but also because I couldn’t imagine not being in the classroom with my other “kids.” My students were children who were on loan to me from their real parents: kiddos I had an obligation to give my best self to each and every day.

            As I used to explain to my classes of undergraduates: “I’d better be doing what I love because each and every day I choose to leave the three people I love most in the world, and come to be with you.”

            Some people describe the day they were laid off as being the worst day of their lives. That day – and the days to follow – became the worst “life” of my life.

            Some don’t really understand the debilitating blow job loss, and the subsequent emotional turmoil that follows. Maybe that’s because some have been lucky, and have been spared that particular experience during the Great Recession. For others, the notions of unemployment come from deep seated feelings that date all the way back to Puritan America: if you are unemployed, and not infirmed, it must be because there is something deficient about you: you’re not trying hard enough, you deserved to be laid off, or you’re just too lazy to go out there and get another one.

            While I suppose there are exceptions to every situation, I tend to believe that everyone , at some level, wants to feel productive: like they are contributing. Work, as Freud once noted, is a part of who we are.  And to deny that work is a part of our identities is to deny a part of our cultural ethos: Do what you love. That your talents are a part of who you are. That we choose to make our 40-80 working hours a week not just a way to earn a living but to make it a personal expression of self.

            But work is a part of our identity.

            Work is where we find meaning.

            It’s often how we define ourselves.

            So when what we’ve been doing is abruptly taken away, it’s no wonder there can be significant repercussions. So the job loss, at least for me, became a spiral of depression and grieving. It’s nothing so simple as being linear – a straight or even sloped line from bad to worse. No, depression becomes a progression of stages when you’re trying to job hunt. Because each new step forward, puts yourself at risk. The perpetual changes take you through a perpetual cycle:

            You have jobs to apply to, so you’re up.

            When the job doesn’t come through, and you were so sure you did so well on the interview, you become morose.

            A friend doesn’t understand your disappointment, and you feel like it must be something “you’re doing” – so you’re pushed three steps back.

            You find a new job listing you’d be perfect for – so you’re optimistic.

            Weeks go by and you don’t get a call back, so you worry.

            A friend lets you know about a possibility he might be able to get you in to, and you are elated.

             People ask about the job hunt, so you get more down because you have nothing new, and no good news to share.

            You get an email from a potential employer that says you weren’t qualified enough, and so you’re back in the gutter of despair until the cycle starts all over again. The part of your bleeding soul that had started to scab up is now pulled off with the new wound of loss.

            I have a new found respect for actors and other performers who live through this cycle by choice, in pursuit of their craft. I have no idea how they do it and remain sane. Is there an inner sense of balance they draw on? Accepting themselves and knowing their value with or without the gig?

            The lesson so many long term unemployed have had to learn is that it’s not that we all haven’t dealt with sadness. And it’s not like we all haven’t wrestled with disappointment. We all have. We’re human beings. We live in the world. We know there are disappointments, set-backs, and frustrations in career management.

            But this is a new kind of “emotion management” because a person who’s been laid off may not be managing a 3, 6 or 9 month time span… but potentially years where you have to find the strength and the resources to navigate the self-doubt and rejection you experience when one is laid off.  A set of skills to navigate the ambiguity and the rollercoaster of emotions for more than just a few months … but potentially for 12-24 months?

            So what is helpful? That may depend on the person involved, just as the grieving process can look different from person to person. But undoubtedly one of the most important things is to find the resources you need to survive during this time: find the people who are supportive. Find the organizations who can help you.

            Additionally, for the people surrounding the one who has been laid off, this next period of time might seem a bit like being a caregiver. Learning as much as you can about depression and long term unemployment may certainly be helpful.  But just as caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s or Cancer need to take care of themselves and find their own support networks, so do those who are providing care and support to the long term unemployed.

            Because we certainly couldn’t get through those hard times without you.

About the Author:

Dr. Christina McCale, author of Waiting for Change 
www.waitingforchange.us
Prior to getting her doctorate in Marketing, Christina McCale worked for 17+ years in some of corporate America's biggest companies. For the last 10 years she has taught marketing and management instructional duties at the university level for the last 10 years, she has also been one of the key and has conducted research on how to best prepare our undergraduates for career entry. Today, she lives in Olympia, Washington with her son, daughter, and their two beloved greyhounds.

About Waiting for Change:

Part memoir and part social commentary, the book Waiting for Change profiles the very personal realities of job loss during the Great Recession and the domino effect to one’s housing, sustenance, employment, children, and social support systems.  The book takes the reader on a guided tour “behind the story” of all the statistics on the evening news to explore the new and evolving landscape of poverty in the richest country on Earth.  Waiting for Change provides a mental “travelogue” that illuminates not just the immediate impacts of poverty, but the downstream repercussions, all in very personal, relatable and easy to read ways.

Five Things You Can Do with Social Media to Prevent Suicide and Promote Mental Health

Social media allows us to have timely and engaging communication, providing us – the citizen journalists -- an opportunity to shape the conversation around mental health and suicide. Usually when the terms “social media” and “suicide” are connected, the news is bad. Many examples of unsafe behavior exist, such as: a “how to” website, a suicide threat posted on Facebook, videotaped suicidal behavior uploaded to YouTube, a social network resulting in a suicide pact, a suicide note that goes viral and romanticizes a death, and so on.

While there are many safeguard procedures being developed that respond to cries for help and prevent these practices from reaching masses, it is nearly impossible to be proactive in addressing this problem. The suicide prevention and mental health promotion communities will always be in reactive mode. That said, there are many ways we can use social media for good, and here are my top five favorites:

                                 

1.       Post and pose: The beauty of social media is that is allows for interaction, and we can always find ways to get people talking by posing relevant questions. The goal is to tell people what you want them to remember and engage them in dialogue that moves to conversation forward. For example:

• Post a link to a helpful or innovative resource and ask if others have experience with it
• Post an article about a new discovery in the scientific literature and ask how people think this breakthrough will change things
• Post a news story about hope and recovery and ask if others have similar, relevant stories to tell
• Post a survey and ask people what they think the results mean

2.       Monitor and respond:  In the “After a Suicide Toolkit” [2011, Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC) and American Foundation for Suicide Prevention(AFSP)], the authors suggest that we also help shape the conversation when others (traditional media and social media) share inaccurate or unsafe information. See Facebook safety mechanisms here. For example, the media often makes a big deal about suicide being a problem around the December holidays, when in reality, December is usually the month with the lowest rates of all. When people post inaccurate information like this, we can help correct the misperceptions with comments and links to credible data. When individuals post messages on Facebook or Twitter, we can respond by connecting them to resources like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

3.       Create a buzz with a button or a badge: According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s “The Health Communications Social Media Toolkit,” buttons (designed for organizational use) and badges (designed for individual use)
can be a very effective way to spread a call to action. Both tactics involve a small, colorful graphic with a simple, catchy message that you can embed in your email signature, on your webpage or in your Facebook post. The graphic is then linked to a place where people can start taking that action. For example:

• To promote the message “Are You at Risk for Depression? Get screened today” on National Depression Screening Day, create a graphic and link it to a depression screening tool
• To promote the  message “Mental Health Matters – Let Your Voice be Heard”, create a graphic that links to an on-line petition for mental health legislation
•   “Today is World Suicide Prevention Day – Take 5 to Save a Life” is a great example of how to use a button. This graphic made quite a splash as suicide prevention advocates from all over the world posted it on Facebook on World Suicide Prevention Day.

4.       Share stories of success: Everyone loves a good story, and the world needs more models of what is working. By following safe media guidelines and strategies for compelling storytelling, we can really start to capture people’s attention.

·         YouTube: Videotape footage of communities pulling together like AFSP has done with their “Out of Darkness Walk.” These pieces demonstrate solidarity, perseverance, and commitment. What is your community doing that brings large numbers of people together for our cause? Capture this, share the spirit, then upload to YouTube.

·         Another excellent example of a community sharing hope is this “100 reasons to stay” video.

 

Video on reasons to live goes viral

·         Podcast:  Interview a therapist on what people should expect when they come to therapy. Interview a faith leader with an enlightened view on how spirituality and mental health are intertwined. Interview a community leader (e.g., elected official, first responder, local celebrity, business leader, etc.) who is a champion of the cause.

·         Blog: Write about your observations of a family that transcended their grief to make a difference. Or about how your favorite coping strategies have helped you. Or about a positive outcome that took place when you reached out to a friend or family member that was struggling.

5.       Promote art that is healing and hopeful:

·         Playlist: Create a playlist on iTunes that shares uplifting songs designed to pull people through dark times

·         Flickr: Pull together an on-line art show of images with narratives that depict recovery

·         E-Book: Publish a downloadable book of poems and short stories about positive transformation

How have you used social media to prevent suicide or promote mental health?

Feeling the Power of a Historical Moment and World Solidarity in Suicide Prevention

Photo by Alaskan Dude

Last week I found myself in an internet café near the Duomo in Florence, Italy weeping as I watched the press conference of the launch of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention ("Action Alliance")steaming live on my computer. It was September 10th – World Suicide Prevention Day, and I was in Italy after just presenting at the European Symposium on Suicide and Suicidal Behaviour. As I sat there watching President Obama’s cabinet members – Secretary Sebelius of the Department of Health and Human Services and Secretary Gates of the Department of Defense – speak so passionately about the critical need for suicide prevention in our country, I could not help but feel I was watching a turning point in our field unfold.


Suicide prevention is a relatively new field. In the United States focused efforts in research, advocacy and clinical developments began as recently as the 1960s. We move forward slowly in small pockets around the country, often fueled by the dedication of a handful of committed people. For decades the suicide prevention field has suffered from a lack of funding for and coordination of these efforts, and these barriers have hampered our progress. Last week, when we launched the Action Alliance, the field now has hope that things will be different.

The Action Alliance is a public-private partnership whose mission it is to advance the National Strategy for Suicide Prevention (NSSP) by championing suicide prevention as a national priority, catalyzing efforts to implement high priority objectives of the NSSP, and cultivating the resources needed to sustain progress. On September 10th the 41 members of Action Alliance’s Executive Committee (“EXCOM”) came to the National Press Club to hear the Secretaries and others acknowledge the historical launch on World Suicide Prevention Day. (Click here for full video coverage of the press event).

Following the press event the EXCOM convened for their orientation to the work that lies ahead. Each of them will select objectives from the NSSP and find ways to leverage resources and political will at the highest levels to achieve these broad goals. With this strategy, all boats rise.

These Executive Committee members were selected because they are top leaders from the key governmental agencies -- like the Center for Disease Control, the Army and Veteran’s Affairs, the National Institute for Mental Health and more, and the from the private sector including major philanthropists, business leaders, faith leaders, researchers, and advocates. These are the people who make things happen. As I watched it all unfold on the other side of the world, I could not help but be in awe of the potential for what lies ahead. I am so honored to be playing a role in this effort.

This launch event came on the heels of another awe-inspiring experience – the European Symposium for Suicide and Suicidal Behavior had been held in Rome, Italy the previous week. I presented five times on issues like men and suicide, positioning suicide as a social justice issue, suicide prevention in the workplace, suicide and spirituality, and the Action Alliance. I love attending these international forums – there is something so humbling about the world coming together to solve this very tragic human problem. Through linguistic and cultural differences, we work together to learn from each other and find opportunities to collaborate.

Photo from NASA Goddard Photo and Video

And the world came together again on September 10th for commemorate World Suicide Prevention Day. Not only was this the launch day of the Action Alliance, but it was also the day when hundreds of countries participated in activities and awareness-raising efforts that acknowledged the impact of suicide and promoted efforts to prevent it. Because I was abroad as this was all happening, I could not help but feel the interconnectedness of our efforts and the intimacy of our planet. Together, we are better, and we have a chance at figuring this out. Our call to action?: “Take 5 to save lives.” Everyone can reach out to help. Join the movement.

What did you do on World Suicide Prevention Day?

Working Minds Contest Winners

Each year The Carson J Spencer Foundation welcomes Colorado businesses, nonprofit, for-profit or governmental agencies to compete in the Working Minds Contest. This contest is designed to showcase workplaces in our community that practice innovative and effective approaches in promoting mental health at work. This year The Denver Center for Crime Victims won the contest and will be honored at the Shining Lights of Hope Benefit Auction Evening on August 28th, 2010 (for information and tickets go to event website).

 

The Working Minds Contest seeks to promote workplaces that are focused on the emotional well-being of their workforce – through policy, practice and overall culture. In a time when lots of workplaces are becoming increasingly distressed, some workplaces are making a concerted effort to keep their teams thriving. We are excited to hold up the practices of our top three nominees as a model for others.

 

Finalists 2010

 

First Place: Denver Center for Crime Victims

 

The Denver Center for Crime Victims’ (DCCV) purpose is to provide culturally and linguistically responsive services to crime victims and crime prevention education. We are the beacon of hope and safety net for more than 6,000 people each year. Our services are broad, supporting survivors of simple theft, domestic and sexual violence, to suicide/homicide survivors. We provide crisis intervention, brief therapy, case management, financial assistance, crime scene clean up and more, all without cost to victims.

 

Innovative and effective approaches to promoting mental health:

 

• “Our self care philosophy is an integral part of our workplace culture and is discussed with potential employees and volunteers and included in all job descriptions and orientations.” 
• “Staff creates confidential, results-oriented stretch goals addressing five areas: physical, emotional, financial, intellectual and spiritual health. These goals are supervised twice a month and included in annual evaluations. Thus, staff gets paid to take care of themselves!”
• Generous leave policies and flex-time including the opportunity for a 30-day paid sabbatical
• Proactive measures to prevent vicarious trauma and burnout among staff

 OUTCOMES: Lower burnout and compassion fatigue rates and a higher sense of compassion satisfaction compared to the national average (as measured by Professional Quality of Life Scale)

 

• “Compassion satisfaction is about the pleasure derived from being able to do your work well. The national average score is 37. The average score of the DCCV staff is 40, indicating a higher rate of employee satisfaction.
• Burnout is associated with feelings of hopelessness and can be associated with a very high workload or a non-supportive work environment. The national average score is 22. The average score of the DCCV staff is 17, indicating a lower rate of burnout.
• Compassion fatigue is the effect of work-related, secondary exposure to extremely stressful events. The national average score is 13. The average score of the DCCV staff is 11, indicating a lower rate of compassion fatigue or secondary trauma in response to our work.”

 

Second Place: Bayaud Enterprises

 

Bayaud’s mission is to provide Hope, Opportunity and Choice, with work as the means through which people with disabilities and other barriers to employment can more fully participate in the mainstream of life.

 

Innovative and effective approaches to promoting mental health:

 

• “In our commitment to mental health, Bayaud has carved out money in an already tight budget to provide weekly life skills and support groups lead by a therapist. In addition, Bayaud will sponsor one on one mental health counseling for those in urgent need. Counseling services are provided through a partnership with Mindful Therapy. Bayaud is currently seeking funding to support expansion of “in-house” mental health services. Time off and schedule changes are accommodated as necessary to access mental health treatment, including extended absences from work, as required.”
• “Staff meetings end with time dedicated to ‘Taking Care of Self’ where staff members discuss their stress levels and what they have planned to balance their stress. In addition to everyday supports and openness regarding mental health, Bayaud has also started a Healthy Families Program that provides information weekly regarding various Health and Wellness topics. Topics discussed are broken into four quarters of the calendar year to include Mental Health Awareness, Healthy Eating and Exercise, Disease Prevention, and Financial Health.”
• “Financial struggles can also add to the stress of everyday living so Bayaud has partnered with AmeriCorps to provide onsite financial counseling services, education and free income tax services. Bayaud has also started an official Toastmaster’s group to promote confidence and the ability to give/receive criticism appropriately.”

 

OUTCOME: Turnover rate is less than 5%.

 

Third Place: Compassion and Choices

 

Compassion and Choices improves care and expands choice at the end of life. We support, educate and advocate.

 

Innovative and effective approaches to promoting mental health:

 

• Employees are also encouraged to recognize the contribution of other employees by anonymously placing the employee’s name and accomplishment or kudos on a card and putting it in a lock box. Each month these cards are read at an all-staff meeting and all named employees get to choose from a selection of $10 gift cards as a reward.
• Belongingness encouraged through regular staff lunches and project partnership
• Special events such as “Pimp Your Patio” – “we happen to be in an office complex that has balconies and employee teams are put together to see who can create the most outrageous patio display.”

 

OUTCOMES: “High laughter and low turnover”

 

 

 

Lights in the Darkness and the Symbol of our Star

Just weeks after my brother died in 2004, our family and his friends from across his lifespan started holding conference calls as we brainstormed our vision for the Carson J Spencer Foundation. The calls were as therapeutic as they were productive. While all of those participating loved him, not all of the friends knew each other at the beginning of our planning since they were acquainted with my brother at difference ages and places in his life. As we shared stories and ideas, we came together in our grief and our shared mission.


One of the early tasks of the group was to come up with a logo for the organization. Because Carson was such a prominent business man in Denver, the Rocky Mountain News, one of Denver’s main papers, interviewed several family members for a featured obituary following his death. The article closed with a quote from Carson’s mother-in-law, “he was a star who shone so brightly that he just burned out too quickly."

[Photo courtesy of BM01 via Flickr]

Indeed, my brother was a star in many ways. A shooting star who rose quickly as an entrepreneur in his industry and gained the admiration of many. He also had the ability to light up any room with his charming smile and pee-in-your-pants humor. His spirit was brilliant. And when stars die, their light shines on in the darkness.

One Yale professor once speculated, “…starlight, traveling in space forever, could be interpreted as an expression of immortality….long after stars have ‘died,’ photons of their energy – i.e., their light – continue to exist….It has been said that humans are made of the same stuff as stars – and we share the same energies.” --Schwartz, Garry (2002). The Afterlife Experiments. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

We wanted the Carson J Spencer Foundation to be the light of his legacy, carrying on his goodness and his spirit. Carson’s expressed legacy before he died was to help young emerging entrepreneurs get to college, so we started the Rising Star Scholarship to honor that wish. As we also acknowledged his gift of helping others and our desire to prevent what happened to him from happening to others, we began a number of programs in a social entrepreneurial spirit that are designed to prevent suicide, promote mental health, and assist those bereaved in our community. His light shines on.

The idea of stars in the dark is also the message we are trying to extend to those suffering in silence. Many have told me that being depressed feels like being trapped in a dark place with no way out. Loving, caring people can provide those inspiring points of light in the dark by offering connection and support as they hold the hope for the hopeless. Sometimes, those who are suffering can’t feel the warmth of the glow of these supporters initially, but they can be reassured by their presence and the realization that others care.

For these reasons, we have called our annual gala “Shining Lights of Hope” and we aim to recognize those individuals and organizations in our community who support the work of suicide prevention and provide compassionate assistance to those in pain. Each year we award those who have stood above the others as stars. The “Shining Lights of Hope” award goes to an individual or group that has been bereaved by suicide or who has experienced a mental health crisis and has turned that suffering into a passion to make a difference. The “Shooting Star” award goes to a organization that has selflessly gone out of their way to help our cause. Our “Volunteer of the Year” award celebrates the volunteer who has contributed significantly to moving us forward, and of course, our “Rising Star Scholar” is our chosen high school entrepreneur who receives our scholarship to help with four years of college tuition.

It’s been five years since Carson’s death, and many of us still feel the pain of his loss on a daily basis. We are comforted in part, knowing that we are living in the light of his legacy and that we are bringing forward a galaxy of stars who shine their light in the darkness for others.

…and lights shine on.

Working Minds: Gaining Momentum for Suicide Prevention in the Workplace

“The workplace is the last crucible of sustained human contact for many of the 30,000 people who kill themselves each year in the U.S. A co-worker’s suicide has a deep, disturbing impact on work mates. For managers, such tragedies pose challenges no one covered in management school.”

Shellenbarger – Wall Street Journal

In the suicide prevention field a gap exists: the majority of people who die by suicide are men of working age, and yet very little prevention work is targeting this demographic. While 85% of middle managers believe part of their responsibility is to identify and help employees with depression, only 18% of those managers had received training that would prepare them to do so. Since we noticed this gap, the Carson J Spencer Foundation has been on a mission, and in 2010 our vision is quickly gaining momentum.

When we formed the Carson J Spencer Foundation in 2005, our goals were two-fold, to honor the life of the man who was the foundation’s namesake and to help prevent others from going through the unimaginable mental anguish he faced as he battled a mental illness that ultimately proved fatal. When we spent 18 months or so examining the needs of the field and our unique position to fulfill them, we discovered a much-needed niche to be filled: suicide prevention in the workplace. We then spent the next couple of years developing the “Working Minds” program – a multifaceted suicide prevention program for employers. And now, as we face our 5th year anniversary, the program is gaining momentum at every turn.

The goals of the Working Minds program are three-fold:

1. to increase awareness that suicide is a public health issue that is preventable and that workplaces have a responsibility to respond and a vested interest in prevention and mental health promotion
2. to increase skills related to suicide prevention, intervention and postvention in the workplace
3. to offer models of recovery at the individual level and mental health promotion at the organizational level

The program components include an interactive website (www.WorkingMinds.org), a toolkit for managers, and a network of organizations that are focused on promoting mental health at work. The Working Minds Toolkit, a cornerstone of the program, offers employers an off-the-shelf curriculum to begin to change the conversation workplaces are having about mental health and suicide. The toolkit, published in November 2009, is available on Amazon and through the Working Minds website.

In 2010, we continue to see the momentum for the Working Minds Program build:

• The Anschutz Family Foundation funds the Working Minds Program implementation among organizations that serve homeless populations.
• Mountain States Employer’s Council, the go-to organization for HR training in the Rocky Mountain Region, agrees to offer Working Minds training to its members
• The Working Minds Toolkit is accepted to the Best Practice Registry after being reviewed by national experts who determine that it adheres to standards of care
• Presentations are made at the Navy’s Suicide Prevention Conference and other national and regional conferences touching leaders in the military, risk management and suicide prevention fields.

With the increasing strain of economic hardship and the challenges of reintegrating returning military from active combat into a civilian workforce, mental health concerns will continue to confront employers in many ways. The Working Minds Toolkit helps give them skills to proactively address these problems rather than just react to them.

How is your company promoting mental health and preventing suicide?

How to Organize an Inspiring, Engaging and Informative Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week

The poet Robert Ingersoll once said,

“In the night of death, hope sees a star. And listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.”

How can we create hope on our campuses, when many students are suffering in silence?

Many campuses conduct a number of awareness weeks during the year, and as the mental health concerns at our colleges and university increase, many more are participating in the National Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week. Nationally this week is recognized during the second week in September while World Suicide Prevention Day is September 10th -- but really, this week can be scheduled at any time that works for your campus.

...and the time to start planning is now!

Awareness weeks are great for creating energy and for sharing information, but if you never do anything else for suicide prevention all year, you will not create significant and lasting change on your campus. Think about your Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week as a tool to gain momentum to help implement other strategies that will offer a comprehensive approach. The Suicide Prevention Resource Center offers a model that can help you figure out where to start.

[MODEL adapted from SPRC/JED Comprehensive Approach to Suicide Prevention]

In the following 15-minute podcast, I offer the: who, what, when, where, why, how and how much suggestions on how to organize an inspiring, engaging and informative Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week.

PODCAST

What have you done on your campus for Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week? Please share your successful programs.

The Daddy Whisperers: Why Dads Need their Kids

The Daddy Whisperers: Why Dads Need their Kids


“Michael” hunched over his paper – partly showing me his responses and partly hiding them. I could see the words “crying, mad, sad” scribbled on the lines where he should’ve been writing the reasons why he loved his Dad. This second grader was participating in a new project called The Daddy Whisperers developed by the Carson J Spencer Foundation (CJSF). The mission of the project is to help protect fathers from feeling isolation and distress by strengthening the bond they have with their kids.

One of the things I learned through my research with men who had been suicidal, but who are now doing well, is the protective power of the fathers’ relationship with their children. Some of these men credited their children for “saving their lives” – whether it was the responsibility Dads felt for their kids or the concern they had about the legacy they would leave should they die by suicide, children factored into the Dads’ decision making process. Because of this, the CJSF staff spent a full day at a local elementary school, working with preschoolers to sixth graders and helping them communicate why they felt their Dad (or other father figure) was special.

We set out to create a Father’s Day project to bolster this bond. Because Mother’s Day falls within the school year, Mothers often receive special school-supported projects that honor motherhood, but fathers, whose special day falls in June, often do not. We adapted the model of PostSecret, a hugely successful viral on-line network where people share their secrets by communicating them in the form of an artistic postcard. For our project, we asked kids to share with us the secret reasons they love their Dads – things they think are really special about their Dad that maybe their Dad doesn’t know about.

So, I asked Michael why he was writing the words “crying, mad, sad” on his Daddy Whisperers worksheet and he told me, “My parents are getting a divorce, and they are not getting along. I see yellow trucks everywhere, and I wonder if they are my Dad coming to see me.”

I told him, “Your parents might not be getting along, but you can still love your Dad. Why don’t you start by drawing a yellow truck?”

Fifteen minutes later he brought his postcard to me. On it was a yellow pick up with a smiling boy in the back. “Can you help me write the words?” he asked.

“You bet,” I said. “What is it you want to say to your Dad?”

“Please write, ‘I love my Dad because he lets me play with him, he is the Wolf Den leader, and I like hanging out with him a lot.’”

I wrote down his messages and patted him on the back, “Good work,” I said.

He nodded and walked away smiling and my heart swelled. I hope his Dad can cherish this too.

To follow additional discoveries from our Daddy Whisperers Project, please follow: http://thedaddywhisperers.blogspot.com/

Bridging the Divide – Suicide Awareness and Prevention Summit

What is it about the Mountain and Desert regions of the U.S.? Why do our states consistently trade off for top-ten spots of states having the highest suicide rates in the country (minus Alaska)? How can it be that in such beautiful, majestic country, so many people are fighting with such strong urges to die?

About 200 people came together this past week to try to figure it out at the 3rd Annual Bridging the Divide Suicide Awareness and Prevention Summit. Colorado State University hosted this event featuring a diverse selection of five plenary sessions and 18 breakout workshops – topics ranged from:

• the Myths about Suicide (Thomas Joiner) to

• how pets provide grief support (Linn-Gust) to

• strategies to dovetail fall prevention for older adults with suicide prevention (Guard).

Formats varied from Nancy Rappaport’s dramatic reading of her memoir “In Her Wake” to a panel of five people who turned their tragic struggle with the impact of suicide into passionate advocacy.

As this conference grows in scope and depth, there is evidence that we are changing the course of the devastating trend of suicide loss in our part of the country. As I mentioned in my remarks during the event, we are moving toward a tipping point of change. Change doesn’t happen in a steady fashion; rather it builds slowly and then shifts in an instant. Eco psychologist Joanna Macy equated the change to water becoming ice: “Before the water turns to ice, it looks just the same as before. Then a few crystals form, and suddenly the whole system undergoes cataclysmic change.”

From Net Efekt

Can you feel the crystals forming?

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What do you think will help us change the high rates of suicide in our Western regions?

Reflections on the Family of Suicidologists

When I arrived at my hotel on Tuesday evening, I was weary from a long flight from Denver to Orlando and looking forward to a quiet restful evening. No sooner did I drag my bags through the rotating doors when I was greeted by a half dozen other weary travelers with big smiles and warm hugs. I said, “I guess I am in the right place.”

Photo by edanley

You see, about 1,000 of us suicidologists traveled across the country, some as far away as Australia to come together for the annual American Association of Suicidologists’ conference. Even though most of us only see each other once a year, we are like a tightly knit extended family. In fact, it was difficult to get to all of our sessions in time because inevitably we would cross paths with at least two or three old friends every time we moved from room to room and the hugging and chatting would delay our arrival.

What makes this conference so special to me is that everyone works together. We have researchers working alongside clinicians. Families bereaved by suicide loss and suicide attempt survivors are working alongside those advocating for public policy change. People working for the military are listening to what is happening on our college campuses. We have support and compassion for people who have just recently lost a loved one to suicide, and we honor those who have dedicated their lives to the cause. Brilliant thinkers listen intently to understand so they can ask better research questions and understanding their findings. Passionate advocates and counselors soak up best practices to improve their efforts. And at the end of the day, we get together over a couple of beers and laugh.

Another reason this field inspires me is that we are a dedicated and scrappy group. With fire in our bellies we continue to try to figure out one of the most tragic human experiences. And we don’t give up. When funding gets cut, we get ultra-resourceful. When the media turn away from the good stories we have to tell, we keep knocking on the door. We are able to persist through hardship because of our unwavering commitment to saving lives and because of the support we get from one another. Even though we are in tough economic times, our association’s growth continues.

Highlights on the conference include:

• Asking two of my friends to sign books they had written that were just published within the last month (Thomas Joiner, The Myths of Suicide and Michelle Linn-Gust Rocky Roads: The Journeys of Families through Suicide Grief)

• Seeing the Clinician-Survivor task force take off – integrating the divisions of research, bereavement and clinical practice to open the conversation of how mental health service providers cope with the impact of suicide loss, personally and professionally

• Presenting with colleagues on topics we care about such as:

o Reaching men at risk for suicide who don’t seek help

o Assimilating the benefits of spirituality into suicide prevention, intervention and Postvention

o Looking at the challenges and opportunities of working in systems like college campuses, workplaces and the military

o Helping those bereaved by suicide become “survivors in action”

[Picture is of the memory quilt made in honor of my brother Carson Spencer (1969-2004)]

On our last evening of the conference, those who had lost loved ones to suicide gathered in a circle in reflection. Memory quilts lined the walls around us as we “lit” battery powered candles (the hotel was afraid of the fire hazard of lighting real ones) and Iris Bolton led us in a ritual where we said the names of our loved ones out loud. We cried, held hands and were witness to each other’s grief. Never forget. Never give up. See you next year.



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If you were at this conference with me over the last five days – please share your highlights in the comment box.

If you want to learn more about joining the American Association of Suicidology: CLICK HERE

The Peak Payoffs of Persistence

Last night was one of those nights when my taste buds far outpaced my stomach. Randy and I were celebrating 15 years of marriage in glorious Estes Park, Colorado when we found ourselves in Mary's Lake Lodge where ever y dish was more magnificent than the one before. Gorging on hearty homemade, multi-grain bread, succulent crab cakes, and savory seafood stew, I found I had no room left for even a chocolate covered strawberry. And now, the morning after, we faced a bad food hangover. Our distended bellies kept us up all night and threatened to ruin our plans for a great day of hiking up Lily Mountain. As we lay in a way-too-comfortable bed, we faced our first decision of the day: to give into the consequences of our poor choices and roll back into our food-induced coma, or to start the day anew and get the blood flowing again. Like all things that first appear like an insurmountable challenge, the most important task is just the commitment to give it a go – we put the feet on the floor and started moving.

As the glorious Colorado sunshine beckoned us outside, we packed up our wiry mutt Apache and started out to the trailhead. April hiking at 9,000 feet above sea level can be a little unpredictable – warm air temperatures don’t necessarily mean you won’t be fighting snow and ice the whole way up the mountain. The climb wasn’t epic – just an afternoon jaunt up a decent piece of vertical, but with the slush, we found ourselves sliding back a food for every two we advanced.

At high altitudes, fatigue comes quickly, and soon the burning quad muscles and labored breathing reminded us how hard we were working. We passed another couple who had pulled off to the side of the trail. The less than ideal conditions had defeated them and they were refueling before heading back down.

“One foot and then another.” I reminded myself not to get discouraged as my hiking boots sank ankle deep in the slush with every step. Randy, Apache and I lumbered on until we reached a cascade of boulders that required us to scramble up using both hands and feet and lots of concentration.

“This is it!” I thought, “We must be close to the summit. One more push to the top.”

The dog inspired us with his bold leaps up the snowy crevasses, and we followed his lead. Getting good hand holds where we could, we pulled ourselves up one boulder at a time. And then, in an instant, there it was – the breathtaking 180 degree expanse of snow capped peaks breaking through to the stunning cobalt sky. The rush if it all poured over me as I stood on the summit looking at the steep drop of on all sides. The strong heart beats were now sprinkled with exhilaration, and I remembered, “Oh yeah, this is why I do this.”

You don’t get the rush when the journey is easy.

When we can conquer the negative voices that tell us that the million little things that aren’t going are way are going to crush us, the taste of our victory is even sweeter. I closed my eyes and took a big sip of the moment to savor the reward in every cell of my body, so that when I need it I can remind myself later: when I am frustrated by the hassles of daily life, I know there is great payoff in persisting to the peak.

For more about great places to hike in Colorado with dogs: http://www.trails.com/activity.aspx?area=15254

Sally Spencer-Thomas
"Up on the High Wire: Mental Resiliency during Tough Times"

• Be Bold
• Belong
• Be Well
• Believe

www.CAMPUSPEAK.com/speakers/spencer-thomas

Suicide Preventon as a Social Justice Issue

A new social movement is emerging, and it’s gaining momentum. As I speak at conferences and on campuses from coast to coast, I find that audiences first tilt their heads with intrigue and then nod with enthusiasm as I explain what it means to position suicide prevention as a social justice issue.

We can easily understand that suicide is a mental health issue. When authorities report that an estimated 90% of people who die by suicide suffer from some diagnosable mental illness or substance abuse condition, we can clearly see the link between the two. However, if we only view suicide through the mental health lens, we will be very limited in our ability to create systematic change. When we look at suicide prevention through this lens, the change agents are the mental health service providers, who work with individuals who are suffering; one on one, one at a time.

In order to take a more “upstream” approach to this, we need to think more broadly and conceptualize suicide prevention as a public health issue. When we view suicide through this lens, we can plainly see that many systems are involved in creating change – schools, workplaces, healthcare systems, justice, faith communities and more. Everyone can play a role in suicide prevention. We can also learn to appreciate that change begins through an emphasis on bolstering protective factors like social connections and resilience as much as it does on medication and treatment.

But, I would argue, even this perspective falls short. Because if you haven’t been touched by suicide directly, you are usually unaware of its widespread and devastating impact and therefore, less inclined to allocate your energy toward targeting this particular health issue over others. What is needed is a social justice approach to suicide prevention. We can take notes from the breast cancer movement that has modeled for us how to create a tipping point of change by bringing the strength of community solidarity to engage a wider circle. Breast cancer survivors are bolstered by others who cheer their courage and stand with them through their struggle. Those who have lost their battle to breast cancer are remembered with honor. Many who have not been touched by the impact of breast cancer are moved by the energy of the large walks and moving testimonies of healing and recovery and want to know how they can help.

So what are the aspects of injustice we need to fight against? For one, we have a grave imbalance in the way we treat mental health conditions and the way we treat other physical disorders. Because of this imbalance, people with mental health conditions often have a terrible time accessing adequate care. There are too few mental health treatment options and most of them are too costly for the average person. As my colleague Dr. Doug Johnson once said to me, “We have a psycho-social injustice problem. We have Americanized mental illness – by looking for quick fixes and ignoring the emotional impact of marginalization.”

In addition, we have developed dysfunctional narratives in our country about mental health conditions that get reinforced in careless media reports and lead to further isolation and hopelessness. People are genuinely afraid to reach out to get the help they need to survive – if that is not a social justice issue, I do not know what is.

For more information about how we all can get involved:

http://www.peoplepreventsuicide.org/ -- a clearinghouse of resources for college campuses

http://www.workingminds.org/ -- suicide prevention for the workplace

http://www.carsonjspencer.org/ -- sustaining a passion for life through suicide prevention, social enterprise and support for emerging leaders

NOTE: Balloon picture is from a recent "Out of Darkness Walk" in Denver, Colorado. Hundreds of people gathered together in solidarity to honor loved ones lost to suicide (remembering each with a balloon released in silence) and walked to raise money for suicide prevention.