Marathoning is about Resilience: “A Tough Blow – A Tougher Town” – Tougher Sport

As an avid marathoner and a former Bostonian, I found myself like so many around the world crushed by the news of the devastating events of the Boston Marathon bombing this week. I spent countless hours going through news websites and listening to NPR trying to get my mind to comprehend what happened.

Although I am thousands of miles away, I can see it. I will never be able to achieve a qualifying time for this premiere race, but I can imagine what it might have felt like to be a 4:09 finisher. To see the finish line and anticipate the cheers and hugs from family and friends – all you can think about is crossing that threshold. I have an eight-year-old boy, the same age as Martin Richard, one of three people killed in the blasts. I can imagine looking for him and my other sons and husband in the crowd. I can feel the confusion of the thousands of runners who were told to stop in the middle of a race that many of them had probably prepared for over months or years. I can remember the celebration of a city and state so proud of this iconic event they actually take a holiday so everyone can take part.

As the events unfolded, I read an outpouring of tweets from the international marathon community, stunned and disturbed by the news, as the images of the worlds’ flags blowing from the blast were seared into our consciousness.

The next morning I poured through the Boston Globe, I was reminded about the special bond between runner and spectator. Very few other sports let spectators touch or feed the athletes during the competition. Spectators, with their cow bells and goofy signs, often provide the energy that lifts the runner through the difficult parts of the race. And yet, at this tragedy, it was the spectators that suffered the most damage.

So tragic, so senseless all of this. And yet, “in the night of death, hope sees a star and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing” (Robert Ingersall). What we all saw and read that day and since gives me great hope about our humanity:

·         The first responders and medical teams who signed up for the event thinking they would be handling traffic, dehydration and blisters who then found themselves in the middle of a war zone and just did what needed to be done

·         The residents who took so many stranded runners into their homes and gave them comfort and a way to connect with their families

·         The runners themselves, some of whom gave blood after running an exhausting race

·         The Bostonians who refused to let this stop their city. As Scot Lehigh of the Boston Globe stated in his editorial, “…We won’t be paralyzed by fear. We’ll take reasonable precautions, yes. But we won’t take cover. And we won’t cower. This, after all, is Boston.”

The Boston Marathon will continue to be the iconic event for runners and spectators everywhere. Boston will continue to pull together, recover and thrive. It may have been a tough blow, but as Lehigh said, “it’s a tougher town” with a tougher sport that won’t be brought down.

Suicide Risk and Children with Disabilities

Written Originally on March 22, 2013

This morning I was interviewed by the Mary and Melissa Show, a call-in advocacy radio talk show led by two mothers living in the Nation's Capital who share the hurdles of raising kids with disabilities.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/themaryandmelissashow/2013/03/22/a-tough-one--suicide-and-disability

Before I launch into this difficult topic, I want to emphasize that people with disabilities who are supported and celebrated for who they are will have a high likelihood of successful and happy lives and rarely, if ever have problems with suicidal behavior.  For many people with disabilities, the suicidal thoughts are less about the direct consequence of the disability and much more about the negative social expectations, exclusion and bullying that can result from the misunderstanding rampant in our society.[1] So while I may be presenting some information today that is concerning for parents about the safety of their children, I want to reassure them that there is a lot we can do to build protective factors for kids and prevent the escalation of despair by knowing what to look for and what to do when warning signs emerge.

That said, here are some concerning statistics on the topic of disability and suicide:

·         Teens with a learning disability such as dyslexia are ten times as likely to die by suicide as someone without a learning difficulty.  One study from Canada examined the suicide notes left by 267 teens, and an alarming 89% of the notes had spelling and grammatical errors indicative of learning disabilities.[2]

·         Childhood ADHD can linger into adulthood and suicide may become a concern. In a recent study cited reported by CNN, 200 adults who had ADHD as children tracked for mental health challenges. A stunning 57% had some type of psychiatric disorder (alcohol abuse, anxiety, depression) and were 5 times more likely to die by suicide. The reporter concluded that people with ADHD don’t tend to grow out of it and a combination of depression and impulsivity for an ADHD adult can have deadly consequences.[3]

·         A recent report on Disability Scoop that shared that children with autism were 28^th times more likely than typically developing kids to contemplate or attempt suicide. Those who were bullied, male, black or Hispanic, age 10 or older and those with lower socioeconomic status appeared to be at highest risk.[4]

What can parents of children with disabilities do?

As a mother of a teen with severe dyslexia and as someone who lost her brother to suicide after his struggle with bipolar disorder, I am very concerned about this connection. Fortunately, I feel confident that there are things we can do to be effective advocates for and supporters of our kids to help them flourish and thrive while managing the challenges they endure.

·         Challenge the social barriers. Our first step in this process is to overcome the social barriers to this difficult topic. Knowing that social barriers also exist for issues related to living with disabilities, we have a double-duty piece of work cut out for us. For the issue of suicide, there are many misperceptions we can work toward dismantling with effective dissemination of stories and science. When we share powerful stories of hope and resilience, we let others know that suicidal behavior and struggles with disability ebb and flow and that people who experience these life challenges have much more in common with others than they do have difference. These stories help people create roadmaps for recovery and coping and are critical in shifting the misperceptions that can lead to marginalization. The second strategy is science. We need to present solid, credible data that helps shape the case for understanding that disability and mental illness concerns are not about moral failings, but about complex social, psychological and biological functioning that can be affected with treatment, accommodation, and coping.

·         Know the model of suicide risk and suicide warning signs. If I am going to recommend one book for people interested in learning more about suicide risk, I encourage them to read Thomas Joiner’s Why People Die By Suicide (2005, Harvard University Press). In this theory, Joiner says that those who kill themselves not only have a desire to die, they have learned to overcome the instinct for self-preservation. That is, wanting death, according to Joiner, is composed of two psychological experiences: a perception of being a burden to others (perceived burdensomeness) and social disconnection to something larger than oneself (thwarted belongingness). By themselves, however, neither of these states is enough to move a person to act on the desire for death, but together with an acquired capacity (or fearlessness) they result in a high risk state for suicide. Acquired capacity can come in the form of innate temperament (risk-taking/impulsivity), learned conditioning from provocative and painful experiences, or access to and knowledge of lethal means. Understanding this model can help parents look for themes in communication and patterns of behavior with their children.

Additionally, parents should be aware of the expert consensus  guidelines for suicide warning signs (summed here with the mnemonic IS PATH WARM):

I               Ideation (suicidal thoughts)

S              Substance Abuse

P             Purposelessness

A             Anxiety

T              Trapped

H             Hopelessness

W           Withdrawal

A             Anger

R             Recklessness

M            Mood Change

For more on this mnemonic: http://www.suicidology.org/c/document_library/get_file?folderId=232&name=DLFE-31.pdf

·         Screening and surveillance for suicidal behavior. Training and screening tools are important weapons in the fight against suicide. Parents, teachers and others who come into contact with youth can quickly learn the warning signs of suicide and how best to link others to care by going through national best practice “suicide prevention gatekeeper trainings” like QPR (stands for Question, Persuade, Refer – for more information: www.qprinstitute.com). Within one to two hours, lay people can be given the basic skills on what to look for, how to ask the difficult “suicide question,” and how to refer people to qualified mental health and crisis services (see below). Screening tools like those supplied by Mental Health Screening can help parents, educators and primary care physicians quickly assess risk for any number of mental health conditions: http://www.mentalhealthscreening.org/

·         Link children to qualified mental health and crisis support when warning signs are identified. Identifying youth at risk is the first step in the chain of survival; linking them to care is the next. Those at risk for suicide and the people who support them need to have quick access to qualified services. Two of the best resources I am aware of are:

o   National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – a free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

§  1-800-273-TALK (8255) and http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

o   HelpPro -- HelpPRO, the oldest, most comprehensive Therapist Finder, to help people find qualified suicide intervention mental health professionals

§  http://helppro.com/default.aspx

So in conclusion, I have observed tremendous passion in both the disability advocate world and the suicide prevention world. Both fields are fraught with marginalization and misunderstanding, and in both there is a lot of hope fueled by tireless family and friends and people living with these conditions and experiences. I say, let’s pull together and unite in our effort to be heard, be understood, and create change so that people can get back into a “passion for living.”

---

[1] Disability and Suicide: The Social Factors that Put People with Disabilities at Risk (2/28/2013 by Amanda Lunday) http://www.theindependencecenter.org/blogs/independence-times/2013/2/28/disability-and-suicide

[2] Dying To Read http://www.dyslexicsuicide.com/

[3] March 4, 2013: ADHD may continue in adulthood, lead to another psychiatric disorder – Elizabeth Cohen reports http://earlystart.blogs.cnn.com/2013/03/04/adhd-may-continue-in-adulthood-lead-to-another-psychiatric-disorder-elizabeth-cohen-reports/?iref=allsearch

[4] Michelle Diament (2013, March 12). Kids with autism face increased suicide risk. http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2013/03/12/kids-autism-suicide/17483/

The Gifts of Gratitude

THE GIFTS OF GRATITUDE – Daily Practices Boost Emotional Wellbeing

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.  It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

-- Melodie Beattie

A daily dose of gratitude may be just what we all need to improve our mental health and buffer against the effect of stress. Being grateful helps us be mindful of what is around us and shifts our focus outward.  Thankful people have been found to are happier, have stronger relationships, are more optimistic, exercise more and have fewer visits to physicians. Here are four things you can do to benefit from gratitude:

1)     Gratitude Inventory and Reflection

Make a list of the 100 things you are grateful for and keep it nearby to remind yourself on tough days. Include in this list:

·       What do I take for granted?

·       What challenges have made me a better person?

·       Who are the people who have improved my well-being?

·       What are the opportunities in the future that I look forward to?

·       What gives me joy?

·       Where do I find unconditional love and support?

Some people find it helpful to gather physical reminders of the things they are most grateful for and put them into a “hope kit” – pictures, thank you letters they have received, and so on.

Start and end your day by reflecting on these gifts and sending intentions of gratitude for their presence in your life by saying, “today I am especially grateful for…” or “my life is better because…is in it.” Notice the sensations you feel when you make these mental intentions of thanks.

2)     Give Thanks Freely

Look for small acts of kindness in your day and offer unexpected thanks without expectation of anything in return. Quick notes or comments of gratitude go a long way for the giver and receiver.

3)     Do the Gratitude Dance

Citation:

Harvard Health Publications, November 2011 http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Mental_Health_Letter/2011/November/in-praise-of-gratitude

Working Minds: Suicide Prevention in the Workplace

Working Minds: Suicide Prevention in the Workplace by Sally Spencer-Thomas

Who is at Risk?

Which occupation is at most risk for suicide?  Military? Dentists? Psychiatrists?  Police officers?  This question is confounded by a number of issues that complicate the answer.  Some occupations are heavily male. We know men take their lives four times more often than women, so are higher suicide rates in those occupations a function of the occupation itself or the fact that men are higher risk?  A similar argument is made for unskilled and temporary jobs when we know the stress of poverty and unemployment also plays a role in suicide risk.

Nevertheless, we know that some occupations, by the nature of the work, may place individuals at higher or lower risk for suicide. For instance, when an occupation has special knowledge of or access to a lethal means of suicide (e.g., medicine among doctors and nurses), there is often an increase in risk.  Certain occupations tend to have higher levels of stress and isolation such as the farming industry might have elevated risks.  Some industries have what is called the “healthy worker effect.”  That is, the workplaces tend to select psychologically hardy people because of comprehensive screening that takes place before employment. Thus, these occupations may be protected from suicide risk to some degree. Finally, it is possible that certain types of people who are at an increased risk of suicide might be attracted to certain types of work.  For example, people who are prone to alcohol abuse, a known risk for suicide, are often attracted to workplaces where alcohol is available.

One noteworthy finding is that men and women working in non-traditional occupations seem to have a higher risk of suicide. In other words, women working in male-dominated professions and men working in female-dominated professions may experience increased internal occupational stress and social isolation that increases their risk. For example, we see very high rates of suicide among female physicians for this reason.

High performers consistently achieve high levels of accomplishment and are regarded as leaders and innovators.  One such high performer noted that being in this position is like being up on a high tight rope without a safety net.  It feels as though everyone around is watching in fear or perhaps anticipation of when the high performer will slip and fall.  For these reasons, there is often no turning back for the high performer, even when the legs begin to buckle.  While it is mostly exhilarating to try to wage such a precarious balancing act, one glimpse down can cause terror.  The truth is all humans have their faults and weaknesses, and for the high performer, it is only a matter of time for his or hers is exposed.  Sometimes it comes in the form of a mental collapse from exhaustion, and the high performer feels an acute sense of failure. When the curtain is drawn and the wizard’s real self is revealed, the high performer worries about how to maintain his or her credibility.  Sometimes the perception of judgment is far more critical from the high performer’s perspective than from those around him or her.  During these times the sense of belongingness and purposefulness may be impacted, causing the high performer distress and suicidal thoughts and behaviors. When this happens, these top leaders may be very reluctant to seek help because the fall they anticipate would be so great.

Why Suicide Prevention in the Workplace Makes Sense

One thing we know is true: few of us get through this life without periods of acute distress or a break with some form of mental illness. We also know that the burden of suicide is carried by the working aged population. For example, suicide is the second leading cause of death for people aged 25-34 and as other suicide rates are dropping (e.g., youth suicide rates), the rates among working aged men and women are rising. In order to combat this growing concern, we need to engage a wider circle in the suicide prevention movement. Workplaces are a logical choice given that so many people of working age are employed. Workplaces give people a sense of purpose and community – both psychological buffers to distress. They also usually have built in mechanisms for disseminating information about health risks and linking employees to resources, like Employee Assistance Programs. Co-workers usually have more face-time than neighbors or even family members, and may be able to pick up on changes in appearance, behavior or mood more quickly.

Five Simple Steps Workplaces Can Take to Prevent Suicide

While suicide prevention may seem like an intense endeavor for workplaces to take on, there are many prevention strategies that do not take much effort but yield tremendous results:

1.     Promote the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). This toll-free hotline is free and accessible 24/7. Answered by certified crisis call centers, all calls are routed locally. For free materials visit their website:

2.     Train Workplace Staff to Become Suicide Prevention Gatekeepers. In just over a lunch hour, employees at all level of a workplace can be taught how to identify warning signs and risk factors and help link distressed co-workers to appropriate care.

3.     Offer Educational Programs on Mental Illness. Increase awareness about the signs and symptoms of depression, bipolar disorder, alcohol dependence and other mental illnesses that can lead to suicide. By offering stories of recovery and successful treatment, workplaces can let employees know that it’s okay to ask for help.

4.     Reward Mental Wellness. Just as workplaces offer incentive programs for nutrition and fitness, we can also create motivation and opportunities to obtain optimal mental health. For example, employees can earn points when they take workshops on how to reduce stress or improve sleep.

5.     Change the Conversation through Social Marketing. A multi-media campaign can let people know they are not alone if they are thinking about suicide, and that many resources exist to help.

As our workplaces shift from the industrial age to the information age to the conceptual age, we come to increasingly rely on our mental muscle to get us through our work day. Like any other muscle, our mental muscle can get injured or fatigued, and we can experience high levels of distress, sometimes leading to a suicide crisis. Workplaces can prepare for this in many ways and develop a comprehensive approach to reduce suicide risk and promote mental resiliency.

The 17th Mile: Vulnerability, Founder’s Syndrome and My Own Mental Illness

For those of you who know me, you know I am a slow and steady marathon maniac. For the past decade, I run a couple of marathons a year trying to someday run a marathon in all 50 states. For me marathoning is a metaphor for my life: committing to audacious adventures and figuring out how to get there step by step, finding dedicated partners to jog along with me, and riding the adrenaline rush when crossing the finish line. The other metaphor, which has been a focus of my year, is mile 17.

Photo by D. H. Parks Courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons

At mile 17, I lose hope. I am a long way in with a long way to go. My feet feel like someone is setting a torch to them, my stomach is doing back flips, and my brain is shutting down lobe by lobe. I go into a very dark place inside myself, put my head down and shuffle along, talking myself into one more mile. And then another. I hate this part of the race. For me, this year – with all of the accomplishments and celebrating – has had many 17^th miles.

It started last February when a series of experiences brought me to my knees. First, I had dental surgery that left me unable to eat anything but mush for over a month. The lack of food made me irritable, and I started losing weight. Then I had to let go of an employee I cared about, and the transition filled me with worry – for her safety and for the organization. My computer crashed slowly over about four weeks, and I lost the ability to communicate effectively and could no longer rely on this key instrument in critical moments like public presentations.  Then my dog suffered a spinal cord stroke that left him completely paralyzed from the rib cage to the hindquarters. We considered putting him down, but decided to rehabilitate him instead – a costly decision with a very uncertain outcome.

As these stressors coupled with some unnerving family issues added their weight to my already weakened state, it felt as if my brain was being hijacked. I have always known that I was vulnerable to mental illness – it runs in my genes – and wondered when it would be my turn. I used to say, “I am on the bipolar spectrum” because I have a chronic case of hypomania but had never been depressed. During these 9 weeks last Spring that changed. First, I couldn't sleep. I would spend night after night tossing and turning. Then the anxiety got worse, and I just couldn't stay in the bed because I was so agitated like ants crawling in my skin.  I knew what was happening but was completely unable to get on top of it, even with all the best coping strategies at my disposal. Soon, I found I couldn't eat at all. I have a vivid memory of sitting alone at a Thai restaurant while I was traveling to a conference in Atlanta. I knew I had to eat to have strength for my presentation, but I just couldn't swallow and sat there trying to choke down a few pieces of tofu in broth filled with sadness. During these weeks, my mind was consumed with catastrophic thoughts about my family and the future of the Carson J Spencer Foundation. I would be driving to work and find myself terrified of getting into an accident, and as a result found I really had to really focus on my breathing to get from one place to another.

Putting the pieces back together
Photo by Leopard Print courtesy of  Flickr Creative commons

Then two things happened. My doctor give me some medication to sleep and control my anxiety, and I went to the American Association of Suicidology annual conference where I was able to get a better sense of perspective on what I brought to the world that had value. I felt love from my colleagues, valued for my expertise, and connected to something bigger than myself. The tide of the depression started to ebb out of my experience, and now, I am humbled to acknowledge that like so many I have worked to help, I too have a mental illness.

Like others with bipolar, I love my hypomania. I love having tons of energy, creative ideas, and unstoppable drive. The more life I live, however, the more I realize that others are not as keen on this state of being. I exhaust and frustrate people on a regular basis for trying to cram too much in too short a period of time, for living in an adrenaline-filled world of pressing deadlines, and for my lack of understanding of the effect I have on others. In the past, confrontations regarding my behavior often led to defensive reactions, but now, I can no longer deny, I must find a better way.

For me and many others, failure is so hard. I have always put a lot of effort into achieving – one of my blessings and curses. This year during my episode of depression and beyond, I found myself teetering up on the high wire, completely consumed with fear of failure. How could I not succeed doing something I feel I was destined to do, something my entire history has prepared me for, something I am doing in honor of my deceased beloved brother. My drive to overcome this fear snowballed into panic and has rippled through my organization like a cancer. Through many discussions, confrontations and reflections, I have come to accept that I have a classic case of Founder’s Syndrome. 

Here is how one author describes it:

“When someone with passion and commitment creates and builds a strong association, members and society benefit. But these founders can turn into their own worst enemies when they refuse to recognize that their organization has "outgrown" them, needing leadership skills the founder does not have or refuses to develop. The result? A nasty case of "founder's syndrome" or "founderitis." The cure? A tricky mixture of growth opportunities, board involvement, and a firm delivery method.” ~Maryll Kleibrink, The Center for Association Leadership, December 2004 from http://www.asaecenter.org/Resources/euarticle.cfm?itemnumber=11531

Last week, I had the great privilege to hear Dr. Brene Brown speak at the Women’s Success Forum in 

Denver. For those of you who have watched her viral TED video (http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html), you know she is a researcher on the area of vulnerability. At this forum, she talked about how we can't opt out of vulnerability - uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure and how daring greatly is about understanding vulnerability as courage.

This week I started something new: Executive Coaching. I am excited about facing these deficits and becoming a better me. I know the weeks ahead will have me taking a long look at difficult things, and I am ready.

Today, I am grateful for all of this. I am thankful for the courage Dr. Brown has given me to stand imperfectly, accept my challenges and ask for forgiveness from those I have affected. I appreciate my doctor, my medication, and my support system. I value all those who have confronted me in a respectful and solution-oriented way. I am looking forward to learning and changing, knowing that it won’t be easy, but the benefits will be magnificent.  Now I feel like I am somewhere at mile 22 – it’s still a tough road but there in the distance is the threshold of hope.

Photo by Dru Broomfield courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons

WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY: CHANGING THE CONVERSATION AMONG MEN OF WORKING AGE

Colorado has the 6th highest suicide rate in the nation.  Men between the ages of 25 and 54 account for 44% of the suicide deaths in the state, and in 2010 had the highest suicide rate among all age and gender groups. The high number of suicide deaths in this group, coupled with the limited prevention and intervention efforts, targeting this difficult to reach demographic, confirmed the urgent need to develop suicide prevention strategies to better serve this population. In 2006 the partnership between Cactus, The Office of Suicide Prevention (OSP) and the Carson J Spencer Foundation began and we made a commitment to address this growing public health crisis.  In 2011 the partnership received funding from the Anschutz Foundation to further these efforts and on July 9th 2012 launched the Man Therapy™ campaign with an article in the New York Times.

Dozens of Denver Metro Billboards with Man Therapy messages

 

The purpose of the Man Therapy™ campaign is to provide men with a place to learn more about men’s mental health, examine their own situation and consider a wide array of actions that will put them on the path to treatment and recovery. The universal message is that all men should be aware of their mental health status and treat it like they would any other ailment and strive to get better.

 

 

From the outset, Man Therapy was created to be shared with other states and mental health organizations around the U.S. that are working to prevent suicides in their communities.  It has been created so it can very easily be implemented in communities throughout the country.

 

Man Therapy reshapes the conversation, using humor to cut through stigma and tackle issues like depression, divorce and suicidal thoughts head on, the way a man would do it. The campaign features a mental health hero, the good Dr. Rich Mahogany. He’s a man’s man who is dedicated to cutting through the denial with a fresh approach using his rapier wit, odd sense of humor, no BS approach and practical advice for men. Dr. Rich Mahogany is dedicated to helping men take charge of their own mental health.

Posters and Bus Station Displays

 The centerpiece of the campaign is the mantherapy.org website, where men and their loved ones will find they have a virtual appointment with Dr. Mahogany.  Visitors can navigate through Dr. Mahogany’s office where they can find useful information about men’s mental health with Gentlemental Health™. Men can also take an 18-question quiz to evaluate their own mental health status.  Within the site you are able to access resources and explore a wide range of choices from do-it-yourself tips to professional therapist referrals. Additional resources include links to local support groups as well as a national suicide crisis line that is ever present on the site.

 

In addition to the engaging experience viewers can find at mantherapy.org, the integrated communications campaign includes a 30-second TV PSA, three viral videos, social media promotions, outdoor boards and outreach materials including posters, coasters and Dr. Mahogany’s business card. 

Results and Evaluation

Impressive results in just the first six weeks. After generating 5,000 hits in the first day, the mantherapy.org Web site has seen an average of 1,000 unique visitors per day and has had 40,000 total visitors averaging 7 minutes on the site.  A total of 8,000 people have taken the quiz and been given advice and recommendations to consider.  A thorough evaluation is being conducted currently to obtain more detailed feedback and analysis of the effectiveness of the campaign and Web site experience. The evaluation includes a one and three-month follow-up component designed to measure whether the website contributed to positive behavior change among men who have visited the site.  A survey on the website also captures users’ immediate impressions.

• 73% were satisfied with the quality of the Gentlemental Health™, video testimonials, and Man Therapies
• 86% said the Web site was useful to them
• 89% would recommend the Web site to a friend

The survey also revealed that the 34% of those who came to the website were looking for resources for themselves, and 14% were looking to help a friend or family member. The model user is a man aged 25-34. Some of the qualitative responses include:

• I have never regarded myself as a stereotypical macho male, but was struck by (i) how many of the macho-male myths I subscribed to and (ii) how fast they crumble when they are examined.
• I am a mental health clinician and I love the idea and the concept of using humor to get men the help they need. This is such an important area.
• Awesome way to reduce "stigma" for men seeking mental health assistance! This is what we need instead of the same old SAMHSA, DCOE, NIMH, etc. sites. This makes men want to use it as it delivers info in an easy to understand format! Love it!
• Extremely engaging use of humor, not only via the actor and faux therapist, but throughout. As a therapist and a man, I was pleased to see such a resource. Well done! Hopefully this will become the model for preventative campaigns within public health using modern media.
• Brilliantly uses a classic manly character to say that it's ok to be depressed and offer advice. The small jokes in the information booklets like Gentlemental Health 101, such as Ben Leizman ‎"The effects of substance abuse on your brain are as ugly as an 80-year old fat man in spandex," really make the argument more effective and appealing. A very well done website and an idea that will save hundreds of lives.
• Dr. Mahogany is hilarious, with just the right level of warmth to keep me feeling engaged. That's not easy!

 

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About Cactus Marketing

Cactus is a full-service brand communications agency providing business solutions for companies and causes through brand strategy, advertising, design, interactive and media services. Cactus has been nationally recognized for its breakthrough creative executions by The One Show, Communication Arts, The Webby Awards, South by Southwest, Favourite Website Awards, Advertising Age, Creativity and Print’s Regional Design Annual. To learn more about Cactus, visit http://www.sharpideas.com.

About the Carson J Spencer Foundation - Sustaining a Passion for Life

The Carson J Spencer Foundation (www.CarsonJSpencer.org) is a Colorado nonprofit, established in 2005.  We envision a world where leaders and communities are committed to sustaining a passion for life. We sustain a passion for life by:

• Delivering innovative and effective suicide prevention programs for working-aged people
• Coaching young leaders to develop social enterprises for mental health promotion and suicide prevention
• Supporting people bereaved by suicide

About Colorado’s Office of Suicide Prevention

The Office of Suicide Prevention, a legislatively mandated entity of the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, serves as the lead entity for statewide suicide prevention and intervention efforts, collaborating with Colorado communities to reduce the number of suicide deaths and attempts in the state. To learn more about the Office, visit www.coosp.org.

 

PULLING TOGETHER IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE AURORA SHOOTINGS

Listening to our car radios as we drove into work on the morning of July 20^th, the staff of the Carson J Spencer Foundation learned the news that our students and teachers from Rangeview High School and Gateway High School were directly affected by the Aurora shootings. As soon as we got into the office, we went right to Facebook to track down the students with whom we had connections to see if they were okay. For hours we waited for updates and felt optimistic when we heard the instant messaging beeps. Briana, our Junior Achievement Scholarship winner was safe and was also desperately trying to get status updates on her classmates. Kim, our teacher from Rangeview, had been with some of our students that morning receiving an award from 9HealthFair for their FIRE Within project. It was a rollercoaster morning for all of them, and so far she hadn’t yet heard that any of her students had been harmed. Then we talked to Courtney, the teacher from Gateway. Clearly shaken, Courtney let us know that three Gateway had been shot: one in the neck, one in the leg, and one “that didn’t look good.” The last student was A.J. Boik, a recently graduated senior. We learned later, A.J. had died at the theater.

Glued to the newscast all day like the rest of the nation, we grieved for this community. Knowing we had some tools and connections that might be of assistance, we decided we would to see if we could help in some way. Then, serendipitously, a number of pieces came together is just a couple of hours.

I shot off an email to my colleague from Crisis Care Network, “Bob, are you coming to Colorado? We need you.”

Based out of Michigan, Bob VandePol is President of one of the leading crisis service providers in the country. We had recently been selected as Co-Leads of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention’s Workplace Task Force. Bob and I had presented together on a number of occasions on how workplaces can manage the crisis of a suicide, and I knew of his deep passion for and competence to help victims of major crisis incidents. He describes it as a calling.

Bob replied, “You’re not going to believe this, but I already had a trip planned, and I will be arriving on Tuesday. My evening is free.”

Then I reached out to Kim to see what, if anything, might be helpful. I told her that Bob would be in town and that I could help facilitate a candle-lighting ceremony if that fit the needs of the community. Kim reached out and found Reverend Ron Frierson.

“Pastor Ron” had led prayers for the first responders at the large memorial service on Sunday night. I had heard him share his compassionate words as I flew home that night from a speaking engagement in Indianapolis. Watching the small screen on the chair in front of me, tears streamed down my face as I listened to how he honored their service, “You are the first ones on the call and the last ones people think of that went through something. You were chosen to answer the call, and we are grateful you did.”

Pastor Ron was looking to do something for his congregation, and thus, the pieces came together.

Late in the afternoon on Tuesday, August 24^th, Bob’s plane touched down and we all made our way over to Pastor Ron’s Heart for the World Church. On my way I stopped at the makeshift memorial just across the street from the Century 16 theaters. There I saw huge mounds of flowers and stuffed animals, thousands of candles, and dozens of signs pleading for peace, love and remembrance. Scores of mourners braved the 100 degree heat and paid their respects to the fallen.

When I found the directions to the Church, I realized that we were just one block away. The church was located in the back of a strip mall, just a few retail spaces gutted out and transformed into a beautiful place of worship. Deep purple flower arrangements and luxurious drapery gave it a sense of elegance. Hand-painted murals in all the children’s rooms, gave it a sense of community. It was clearly a place built out of love.

Pastor Pam (Ron’s wife) met me at the door and walked me back to the office where I met Pastor Ron. Bob had already arrived, and we talked for a few minutes about our children, our work, and our common desire to provide hope and comfort to this traumatized community.

Congregation members started trickling in. Kim came with some students. Neighboring church leaders came to stand in solidarity. Sarah Burgamy, President of the Colorado Psychological Association, arrived and said to me, “Yes, I am here to let people know we are here to provide mental health services if needed, but I am also here for me. I too need a chance to pause, reflect and grieve.”

Pastor Ron welcomed us all. The choir came filed out from the back and sang, clearly moved by the moment, about how God puts his hands on us and about how demons try but do not triumph over us.

I spoke briefly about how “the phoenix hope” helps us revive from ashes and rise and about how when communities pull together they can overcome unimaginable distress.

Bob helped people understand that God has given us gifts to survive this, but we often don’t realize these are gifts. He explained that we are fearfully and wonderfully made to flee, fight or freeze in reaction to life threatening events. Hypervigilance, insomnia, and even digestive problems are all normal responses to abnormal events, and for most, these reactions will pass in time.

Bob also shared with us the story of Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, and how he discovered three commonalities among the people who survived that horrible tragedy:

•  They believed in something bigger than themselves. They had a sense of purpose and a faith that there was something more to come.
• They had positive coping skills before the tragedy and drew upon those sources of resiliency.
•  They had healthy and supportive relationships and a community that was a safe place to come together.

Then Rondah Frierson, Pastor Pam and Pastor Ron’s youngest daughter took the podium. Rondah had been a member of our FIRE Within class at Rangeview High School from 2010-2011, and was currently a sophomore in college. A radiant light of optimism and splendor, she moved us all to tears again with her heartfelt ministry.

“Love harder,” she said. “They [the people who died] are looking at us now and telling us that’s what they want us to do. We know these people and we are changed forever; the only way through this is love. With love comes unity, and from unity we have community.”

As the choir’s soul-stirring music began again, we lit our candles – cream-colored tapers with Styrofoam cups to catch the dripping wax – and swayed together. All ages, all races, all faiths, swaying together.

A Pastor from a neighboring church gave the closing prayer, “We stand with you,” he said. “Take back this land.”

We filed out into the reception area and spent time in fellowship together over rice crispy treats and lemonade. We hugged, we shared our experience, and we expressed gratitude for being together.

On the way home, I went to the memorial site again and found Bob there too. With the sun down, the candles glowed more brightly. The wind blew up the dust and threatened to blow them all out, but it could not blow out the spirit of community that is so steadfast here in Aurora.