SallySpencerThomas

GUEST BLOG: Wishing You Peace, Love, and Soul

2012-02-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

Contributors:

(LEFT) Phoenix K. Jackson - Board Member of Carson J Spencer Foundation, Author of Compassion to Clarity and Back Again
(RIGHT) Jess Stohlmann - FIRE Program Director at the Carson J Spencer Foundation

In the wake of tragedies, it is easy to feel lost, confused, shocked, and even angry. All of these emotions are common reactions to the loss of a loved one, community member, or icon. The loss of Don Cornelius leaves many of us overwhelmed by emotions because we never would have imagined losing a man who had changed history for African Americans in the United States in this manner. As the first person to put positive images of African Americans on TV on a consistent basis, Don Cornelius made a direct impact on millions of lives while Soul Train was on the air, and far more with the legacy of his work. In the midst of tragedy, we should seize the opportunity examine the issue of suicide in the African American community. As a part of our efforts to honor of the great accomplishments of Don Cornelius, we should venerate the ways that the community has protected itself against suicide, and we should look into the steps that can be taken to prevent future tragedies.

Often, the first question we want to ask is “Why?” It is natural to want to understand something as complex as suicide. It is also normal to try and find one, simple reason. The truth about suicide is that the answer to that burning question is far too complicated to boil down to one simple answer. Suicidal people experience multiple, varied situations and struggles that eventually lead them to feel like suicide is the only remaining option. If we can find a way to intervene when we see the warning signs, suicides can be prevented. But no one can be expected to intervene when they don’t know what the warning signs are. Below is a list of some of the warning signs we can look for as communities, and a link to a helpful resource. Educating ourselves about these warning signs is a great way to work toward preventing future tragedies. We know that prevention works, and most people who attempt suicide once, will never consider it again. If we can connect people to the right resources, we can prevent those attempts from ever happening. If you or someone you know is in distress, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) to get help.

SUICIDE WARNING SIGNS

(American Association of Suicidology)

· I Ideation (Threatening to hurt or kill self, looking for ways to die)

· S Substance Abuse (Increased or excessive substance -- alcohol or drug -- use)

· P Purposelessness (No reason for living; no sense of purpose in life)

· A Anxiety (Anxiety, agitation, unable to sleep or sleeping all the time)

· T Trapped (Feeling trapped - like there's no way out; resistance to help)

· H Hopelessness (Hopelessness about the future)

· W Withdrawal (Withdrawing from friends, family and society)

· A Anger (Rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge)

· R Recklessness (Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking)

· M Mood Changes (Dramatic mood changes)

For more information, click here: http://ow.ly/8ORGn

Part of what might make this loss so shocking is that suicide rates are low in the African American community, and especially among women. African American women have the lowest rates of suicide of any population in the U.S. For example, according the American Association for Suicidology in 2007, 1,958 African Americans completed suicide in the U.S. Of these, 1,606 (82%) were males (rate
of 8.4 per 100,000). The suicide rate for African American females was 1.7 per 100,000. The rate for Caucasion males in the same year was more than twice as high as African American males.

Slide from Center for Disease Control and Prevention

We want to highlight the things that have historically helped the African American community safeguard against suicide risk. Communities that have historically pulled together in times of need tend to have relatively low suicide rates. In the African American community, things that we know safeguard against suicide risk are: making individuals feel like they have an important, irreplaceable role in the community; empowering individuals and making sure they have a voice in their communities; and participating in faith communities that encourage feelings of belongingness and censure suicide as an option. All of these protective factors are also strong values in African American communities, so the rates for African American women are particularly low. Even with all of these protective factors, it is important that we as communities be willing to ask the right questions to make sure that we can intervene when people are in need. We should all be thinking about what we can do to stop the loss of life.

Belongingness protects against suicide. Photo by: vox_efx

Throughout the year, but especially as we celebrate BlackHistory Month, let’s join together to honor the incredible positive impact these values have had on African American individuals and communities, and work toward creating similar safeguarding values in other places. Focusing on the prevention work we can do in the future, protective factors we can work on increasing to reduce suicide risk, and honoring the life of those we have lost are the best ways to heal as a community.

As Don consistently wished us on his show, "… in parting, we wish you love, peace and soul!"

Resources

National Organization for People of Color Against Suicide

African American Suicide Fact Sheet

Trauma, Resilience, and Recovery in a High-Risk AfricanAmerican Population

The Strong Black Woman Vs. The Blessed Black Woman

For Suicide Prevention Training and Suicide Bereavement Support

Carson J Spencer Foundation

Five Things You Can Do with Social Media to Prevent Suicide and Promote Mental Health

2012-01-31T13:39:00.000-08:00

Social media allows us to have timely and engaging communication, providing us – the citizen journalists -- an opportunity to shape the conversation around mental health and suicide. Usually when the terms “social media” and “suicide” are connected, the news is bad. Many examples of unsafe behavior exist, such as: a “how to” website, a suicide threat posted on Facebook, videotaped suicidal behavior uploaded to YouTube, a social network resulting in a suicide pact, a suicide note that goes viral and romanticizes a death, and so on.

While there are many safeguard procedures being developed that respond to cries for help and prevent these practices from reaching masses, it is nearly impossible to be proactive in addressing this problem. The suicide prevention and mental health promotion communities will always be in reactive mode. That said, there are many ways we can use social media for good, and here are my top five favorites:

1. Post and pose: The beauty of social media is that is allows for interaction, and we can always find ways to get people talking by posing relevant questions. The goal is to tell people what you want them to remember and engage them in dialogue that moves to conversation forward. For example:

Post a link to a helpful or innovative resource and ask if others have experience with it

Post an article about a new discovery in the scientific literature and ask how people think this breakthrough will change things

Post a news story about hope and recovery and ask if others have similar, relevant stories to tell

Post a survey and ask people what they think the results mean

2. Monitor and respond: In the “After a Suicide Toolkit” [2011, Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC) and American Foundation for Suicide Prevention(AFSP)], the authors suggest that we also help shape the conversation when others (traditional media and social media) share inaccurate or unsafe information. See Facebook safety mechanisms here. For example, the media often makes a big deal about suicide being a problem around the December holidays, when in reality, December is usually the month with the lowest rates of all. When people post inaccurate information like this, we can help correct the misperceptions with comments and links to credible data. When individuals post messages on Facebook or Twitter, we can respond by connecting them to resources like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

3. Create a buzz with a button or a badge: According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s “The Health Communications Social Media Toolkit,” buttons (designed for organizational use) and badges (designed for individual use)
can be a very effective way to spread a call to action. Both tactics involve a small, colorful graphic with a simple, catchy message that you can embed in your email signature, on your webpage or in your Facebook post. The graphic is then linked to a place where people can start taking that action. For example:

To promote the message “Are You at Risk for Depression? Get screened today” on National Depression Screening Day, create a graphic and link it to a depression screening tool

To promote the message “Mental Health Matters – Let Your Voice be Heard”, create a graphic that links to an on-line petition for mental health legislation

“Today is World Suicide Prevention Day – Take 5 to Save a Life” is a great example of how to use a button. This graphic made quite a splash as suicide prevention advocates from all over the world posted it on Facebook on World Suicide Prevention Day.

4. Share stories of success: Everyone loves a good story, and the world needs more models of what is working. By following safe media guidelines and strategies for compelling storytelling, we can really start to capture people’s attention.

· YouTube: Videotape footage of communities pulling together like AFSP has done with their “Out of Darkness Walk.” These pieces demonstrate solidarity, perseverance, and commitment. What is your community doing that brings large numbers of people together for our cause? Capture this, share the spirit, then upload to YouTube.

· Another excellent example of a community sharing hope is this “100 reasons to stay” video.

Video on reasons to live goes viral

· Podcast: Interview a therapist on what people should expect when they come to therapy. Interview a faith leader with an enlightened view on how spirituality and mental health are intertwined. Interview a community leader (e.g., elected official, first responder, local celebrity, business leader, etc.) who is a champion of the cause.

· Blog: Write about your observations of a family that transcended their grief to make a difference. Or about how your favorite coping strategies have helped you. Or about a positive outcome that took place when you reached out to a friend or family member that was struggling.

5. Promote art that is healing and hopeful:

· Playlist: Create a playlist on iTunes that shares uplifting songs designed to pull people through dark times

· Flickr: Pull together an on-line art show of images with narratives that depict recovery

· E-Book: Publish a downloadable book of poems and short stories about positive transformation

How have you used social media to prevent suicide or promote mental health?

Tensions in Postvention: An International Dialogue Part I

2011-12-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

Tensions in Postvention: An International Dialogue Part I

By Sally Spencer-Thomas

In the aftermath of a suicide, several needs are evident —psychological first aid for those most directly affected, help for communities as they return to a level of functioning, and surveillance for vulnerable individuals who might be harmed by contagion. The strategies to achieve meeting these needs sometimes come into conflict with one another and create tension in our postvention efforts. Well-meaning and well-informed people can find themselves firmly standing on one side or another of these points of potential disagreement, complicating an already difficult process.

In September this year, I had the honor of facilitating an international discussion on the “Tensions in Postvention” at the International Association of Suicide Prevention’s (IASP) World Congress in Beijing. About two dozen people gathered to join some of the top suicidologists from around the globe as we explored the challenges of supporting individuals, families and communities in the aftermath of a suicide. Among the invited participants were:

· Karl Andriessen, M.Suicidology, (BELGIUM), Coordinator of the Suicide Prevention Program of the Flemish Mental Health Centres, and Co-Chair of the IASP Taskforce on Suicide Bereavement and Postvention. He is a tireless advocate for the needs of people bereaved by suicide.

· Prof. Onja Grad, PhD, (SLOVENIA), clinical psychologist who has worked with survivors on a daily basis for the past 22 years — with individuals, families, groups. She is also a teacher at the University of Ljubljana School of Medicine.

· Myfanwy Maple, PhD, BSW (Honours Degree), (AUSTRALIA), senior Lecturer, Social Work Course Coordinator, School of Health. He is a social work academic and researcher in suicide bereavement over the past decade, particularly examining the experiences of individual family members experience of loss.

· Sandra Palmer, Ph.D. (NEW ZEALAND), a registered psychologist and Clinical Manager Community Postvention Response Service, and provides support to communities experiencing suicide clusters or contagion. She continually faces the challenge of balancing the need for communities and families to honor the loss of loved ones with safe postvention practices to manage contagion to prevent further losses in the community.

· John Peters, M.Suicidology (UNITED KINGDOM), lost his son to suicide 19 years ago and has for many years been a volunteer with Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide including staffing their Helpline each week and running peer-led support groups and an annual support day.

· Diana Sands, PhD, (AUSTRALIA), Director, Bereaved by Suicide Service; has worked with families bereaved by suicide for over twenty years, produced a film and wrote a book for children bereaved by suicide. She will speak to the complex and sensitive issues regarding how to talk with children bereaved by suicide.

During this session we discussed the following questions:

1) How can we balance the need to prevent contagion with the need to honor loss?

2) How do we balance getting a familiar sense of normalcy with the acknowledgement of significance to a community that has been deeply affected by a suicide loss?

3) Do we tell children about suicide or not? When do we tell them? How much information?

4) What services do we provide – lay led, professionally facilitated or some combination? Knowing that the research indicates the benefits of peer led efforts, how do we manage quality control and sustainability?

5) How do we safely involve survivors or suicide loss and attempts in research? What are the best protocols for this?

In this column, I will review the discussion of the first two questions, and in the next issue of Newslink I will review the discussion of the last three questions.

How can we balance the need to prevent contagion with the need to honor loss?

As we opened the discussion many participants shared examples of how communities have navigated the balance between what family and close friends want and what is safe for the community. Sandra Palmer talked about how t-shirts printed with pictures of lost loved ones are commonly seen at funerals and memorialization events. She went on to describe how families when told about the potential risk will also print a hotline number or other resource on the t-shirt. I talked about how candle lighting ceremonies are common and how we can help communities make these events safer by coaching the event planners on safe messaging and surrounding the attendees with helpful resources. Jill Fisher of Australia talked about framing a memorial event as a remembrance event celebrating life rather than over-emphasizing the circumstances of a death.

Sandra Palmer: “What we are getting to is about balance.”

Jill Fisher: “We try to do a number of activities to meet a number of needs of the bereaved.”

Onja Grad: “[The response] has to be right away.”

Diane Sands: “Schools are much more careful. Families are more thoughtful and respectful to the community. We can rely on folk to be more thoughtful.”

As in many provocative discussions attendees raised additional questions:

· How can we be proactive in our efforts with families and communities so they understand the risks?

· Knowing that it is never anyone’s intention to cause additional harm, how do we explain to families that there is a risk in doing things the way they planned?

· Many families, including my own, have a huge desire to do prevention work right away, and yet without proper time to grieve and heal sometimes these efforts crash and burn, causing additional hardship. How can we counsel people to heal first and engage in prevention activities later?

· How do we support people in bereavement when we are not of the grieving family’s culture?

· How do we promote young people’s safety while giving them the space to grieve in their own way, which often includes very public expressions through social media? For instance, youth sometimes post on their deceased friend’s Facebook page. Sometimes the outpouring reflects their grief at the loss like a public shrine of flowers and stuffed animials might. Others post comments like “you are now in a better place,” thereby romanticizing the death and minimizing the tragedy.

The general consensus of the group was that both honoring loss and preventing contagion are possible. With outreach to new survivors and supportive instruction about preventing contagion, we can allow a safe space for the bereaved to mourn and direct the grief energy so that risk factors for contagion are minimized.

[To watch this Part I of the discussion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kIoXoCvrz4 ]

How do we balance getting a familiar sense of normalcy with the acknowledgement of significance to a community that has been deeply affected by a suicide loss?

This question revolves around a community response to suicide. We noted that returning to a previous routine can be grounding for many after a trauma; it offers structure and a sense of familiarity. Nevertheless, moving too quickly or too completely to “business as usual” can make those closest to the loss feel discounted.

We also acknowledged that in larger systems and communities there will often be many people who are not affected at all by the death, and if we go in “all guns blazing” we can do harm.

Many cited George Bonanno’s work (Bonanno, 2004) on resiliency after trauma and emphasized the potential strength of the human spirit and the power of communities pulling together after a loss like suicide. The key to finding the right balance revolved around framing the interventions as choices with the understanding that different survivors need different things at different points in their grief journey. Jill Fisher called her approach an invitation of the “lightest touch” so that what we offer won’t interfere with the natural resilience that exists.

As Jill noted, “After a suicide you find police, criminal investigators, medical rescue professionals, coroners — up to 10 people in your home — that you have no right to say ‘no’ to. You are invaded. We want to make sure that the bereavement support is a choice you’ve made.”

The group also explored the reality that not all suicide deaths impact communities in the same way. For instance a school that has been rocked by multiple deaths usually experiences heightened anxiety and fear as rumors escalate. For these communities, “returning to normal” might require more conversations of assurance.

One participant described this particular tension in postvention: “Grief is a natural process, and when you put shutters around it, damage can be done. The bereaved will let you know what they need; our role is to support them.”

While the cultures and languages of this diverse group of experts varied, the themes of the challenges were similar. By sharing lessons learned and stories of success, we forged a solidarity in our efforts to support people bereaved by suicide.

Reference:

Bonanno, G. (2004). Loss, trauma, and human resilience: Have we underestimated the human capacity to thrive after extremely aversive events? American Psychologist, 59(1), 20-28.

Sally Spencer-Thomas is CEO and co-founder, Carson J Spencer Foundation, founded after the suicide of her brother. The foundation is known for preventing suicide in the workplace, coaching youth social entrepreneurs to be the next generation of suicide prevention advocates, and supporting the bereaved. She is AAS Survivor Division Chair.

"Reposted with permission from the American Association for Suicidology" follow this link to see the article in Newslink.

Celebrating Mentally Healthy Workplaces: Colorado Public Television Wins Working Minds Contest

2011-08-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

Mental health isn’t something many workplaces consider when thinking about the health of their employees, and yet, distress impacts productivity, retention and morale significantly. We are delighted to honor workplaces in Colorado that take proactive steps to help promote mental health.

Colorado Public Television is 1st place winner of the Working Minds Contest

For more information about our Working Minds Contest and last year's winners, please visit http://www.carsonjspencer.org/sloh2010.html

In these current economic times, the stress of work can be quite unbearable. With budgets being cut across numerous organizations and businesses, many are concerned about their employment. Colorado Public Television (CPT12, formerly KBDI) has found ways to promote mental health and resiliency during tough times:, shared sacrifice, team-based decision making, and an environment which enhances creativity. Colorado Public Television will be recognized with the grand prize “Working Minds Award” at the Carson J Spencer Foundation’s Shining Lights of Hope Gala on the evening of August 28th at Inifinity Park in Glendale, Colorado

CPT12 is a mission-focused organization with a product that is enjoyable and trusted. The culture of CPT12 fosters creativity, collaboration and risk-taking. Employees throughout the company feel a sense of pride in the quality of the product, and enjoy the intellectual stimulation associated with it.

“I would liken our staff meetings to a Sunday dinner that a family would have,” said Pam Osborne, Director of Marketing & Communications for CPT12. “As a cohesive team, we all feel that we are in this together.”

CPT12 makes it a point to include mental health days, telecommuting and flexible scheduling into its policies. Additionally, the mentally-healthy atmosphere includes pet- and children/family-friendly policies. The approach by management is to help employees feel safe and capable of high-performance. CPT12 welcomes perspectives of staff and viewers of all ethnicities, sexual orientations, genders and backgrounds.

“Our workforce is extremely loyal,” stated Osborne. “I attribute that to the fact that our organization is a creative, ever-evolving, fun place to work.”

CPT12 was awarded the grand prize in the Carson J Spencer Foundation’s Working Minds Contest. In order to win, contestants needed to be workplaces based in Colorado that demonstrated measurable success by implementing innovative and effective mental health policies and procedures.

About Colorado Public Television – CPT12

Every day Colorado Public Television (CPT12), formerly KBDI, sets itself apart with an unparalleled schedule of local, independent, “community voice” public affairs programming and invites its statewide audience to explore new issues, ideas, people and places in the state, nation, and world. CPT12 curates three digital channels including a flagship signal with a mix of local, national, and international programming and infused with quality PBS shows (12.1); CPT12+, the best of independently produced documentaries, music, travel, exercise, cooking, public affairs and more (12.2); and MHz Worldview, providing international news from five continents and diverse cultural perspectives for a globally minded audience (12.3).

Please join us in congratulating all of our winners (runners up were Tu Casa and Jefferson Center for Mental Health) at the Shining Lights of Hope Gala on August 28th at Infinity Park! For more information visit http://www.carsonjspencer.org/.

GUEST BLOGGER “Smack-A-Mole”: Fighting Off the Job-Search Blues

2011-07-31T04:56:00.000-07:00

Packard Brown and Charlie

It is my pleasure to introduce our guest blogger this week. I met Packard Brown after our Manspeak article was published. He was interested in the psychological impact of economic distress for men, and we spent a morning exploring shared interests. Packard is a seminary-trained, proven Career Transition professional with long-standing success in helping professionals secure employment in the non-profit or corporate world. Having spent more than 20 years in both the corporate realm as a Vice President for Organization Development and in the Career Management industry as a Senior Career Consultant, he knows first-hand the strategies and tactics it takes to navigate a career transition successfully.

Our current economy has forced nearly 30 million people into unemployment, out from behind their desks to the streets or behind the fast-food counter. If you’re deep in the process of a job search, you’re in plenty of company. With this Job Market, there’s ample reason to become despondent – there’s frequent rejection, endless worry over finances, and dashed hopes. As one of my clients put it “I’m just a bug on the windshield of life”. Reason enough to feel distraught.

But take heart, it doesn’t have to be so!

Most everyone has the intelligence, the resolve and the energy to keep moving forward. You just need to adjust your thinking and practice certain tactics to keep your spirits up. Here are some pointers on trekking through the Job-Search Bog to higher ground and success.

1. Start a Brag-File. If you haven’t done so already, you absolutely need to begin recording those events when you did something well, that brought you a lot of affirmation. Start archiving those circumstances where you rescued a lost account or turned around a poor-performing office or solved a problem that stumped everyone else.

In the job search you’re going to run into rejection; people will question your experience, discount your qualifications, or misspell your name. In these instances you have to return to your achievement stories and take stock of all that you do well. Relive those circumstances where you stood out from the pack and really delivered. Doing so enables you to readily provide examples in an interview, but also works to raise your morale and reminds you that you have a lot to offer an employer.

2. Practice Sharp U-Turns. During tough times, we often succumb to behaviors, to habits that may bring us short-term relief, but really harm us in the long run. When feeling pummeled black-and-blue from the job market, don’t be tempted to toss down a few dozen Harvey Wallbangers, or smoke a joint, or raid the medicine cabinet for those kite-flying prescription drugs. I also caution clients about devoting hours to Facebook or over the top shopping sprees. Guard against developing self-destructive behaviors.

3. Pump Some Iron (or Aluminum). When turning away from bad habits, make a conscious effort to engage in those activities that bolster your physical and mental well-being as well as keep you moving forward in your search. Adopt an exercise routine; strive to spend 30 minutes a day walking or working out at the local recreation center. Make it a regular part of your weekly routine to gather with good friends or enjoy an outing with the family. Don’t become isolated. Also make a list of five things to do regarding your search and do two of them by the end of the day. My clients make phone calls to managers, set up networking appointments, or reach out to targeted contacts on LinkedIn. Stay purposefully active.

4. Smack-A-Mole. This probably sounds like “New Wave Metaphysics” but as best you can, watch your head games, control your thoughts. Dwelling continually on the negative aspects of a search only serves to draw down your energy and your morale. Believe me; it adversely affects how you come across in an interview. Remember the football film where the running back is about to carry the ball late in a close game and he repeats to himself “Don’t fumble,” “Don’t Fumble”, “Don’t fumble”? So what did he do? Of course, he fumbled the ball. When a dark and desperate thought enters your mind, act like the arcade game Smack-A-Mole, where you hammer a pop up figure with a rubber mallet. Belt that thought right out of your mind. Now granted we need to be realistic in reviewing our circumstances, but be objective of what you perceive then get off it. Don’t dwell on it. A helpful tactic is to identify one or two experiences that lift your spirits every time you think of them and use one of them to replace the negative image. For me it’s recalling my son’s hit to drive in the winning run in a baseball tournament or my daughter who’s a lyric soprano, singing a solo that brought down the house. Find one for yourself, and whenever your thoughts turn to Dark Swans, replace them with these affirming images.

The job search can certainly be a tough road to plow but knowing how to keep your mind and spirits uplifted will serve you well in the days ahead.

+++++++++++++

On Saturday, August 27, 9am – 1pm Packard and colleague Richard Oppenheim will be facilitating a workshop Greenwood Community Church called "Keeping Faith with Your Job Search." Packard has graciously offered the Carson J Spencer Foundation 10% of the proceeds of this workshop in support of our work on suicide prevention. If interested in this workshop, contact Packard for more information:

Packard N. Brown M.Div., CEC, RCC, Careers at Crossroads packard.brown@comcast.net

Lifting their Voices: Suicide Attempt Survivors Speak Out

2011-07-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

[Reprinted from American Association of Suicidology's NEWSlink June 2011]

The roadmap of suicide prevention is filled with challenging terrain and blind spots around the curves. Just when we feel we have advanced to a new frontier, another uncharted land lies ahead. Last year at the annual conference for the American Association of Suicidology we heard the voices of the clinician survivors come to the forefront: clinician survivors built solidarity around unaddressed needs and created a forum to advance the work to address these needs. At this year’s conference another group got organized and found momentum for organized empowerment: survivors of suicide attempts.

AAS Panel about helping attempt-survivors and their families (photo by David Covington)

Most notably, the conference featured a plenary panel about suicide attempt survivors called “Silent Journey: Helping Suicide Attempters and their Families.” Stephanie Weber, the Executive Director of Suicide Prevention Services in Batavia, Illinois shared her experiences running a support group for suicide attempt survivors.

“At last year’s conference,” Stephanie said, “a woman asked me ‘This is for survivors, but I am a survivor of my own attempt, not of someone else’s death. What is here for me?’ I told her ‘Next year we will have a panel of attempt survivors who are no longer alone or ashamed.’” Stephanie continued, “This is the last stigma. Why is it when we lose a loved one to suicide, we grieve, but when we have a loved one who attempts suicide and survives we are angry and don’t know how to talk about it?”

CW Tillman, a suicide attempt survivor, talked about his experiences with first responders and family members. He said, “There are several ways to help suicide attempters. The first way is just to be honest. At first, after my suicide attempt they told me, ‘That was a stupid thing to do,’ and I know they meant ‘I love you’ and ‘I want you around.’” CW recommends not using the term “failed attempt.” He explains how he sees his suicide attempt as a success by virtue of its not resulting in his death.

Jason Padgett, Project Coordinator for Tennessee Lives Count, talked about his experiences with family members who had gone through suicidal crises. He said, “For all those out there who support those who struggle with suicide, you need support too.”

Finally, Dr. Kate Comtois, Associate Professor at University of Washington, shared findings from her research. After evaluating the similarities of effective psychotherapies for suicidal individuals, she concluded they have at least three qualities:

1) Suicide is treated directly, not just by treating the diagnosed mental illness or by observing or constraining the individual. She said these therapies focus tightly on what is making people suicidal and what can be done about it.

2) These therapies employ an overt, determined, and persistent collaborative stance. The therapist connects with the individual, not using the perspective “We, the experts will fix you, the patient,” but rather “Together, let’s see what we can figure out.”

3) Clinicians work as part of a staff team – they meet regularly to discuss cases and burnout.

Dr. Comtois also summarized what participants in her research said about their journeys after attempting suicide:

1) The pressures on individuals who have attempted suicide are tremendous. The response of our mental health system is to diagnose mental illness and prescribe medication, yet this will not solve their problems.

2) Individuals who had attempted suicide reflected that the researchers asked many more questions about their suicide attempt and their history of suicidal coping than the referring clinicians or team had.

3) Study participants engage in and appreciate the suicide-specific treatment that the researchers developed. This was not consistently the case for the treatment as usual group.

4) Study participants followed most of the recommendations from emergency departments, inpatient units, and the researchers.

Some of the conference attendees found the panel moving. Eduardo Vega, himself a survivor of a suicide attempt, said, “Suicide is not a problem that is fixed in a hospital. Bringing the voices here really touched me.” David Covington, Executive Committee member of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention said, “The leaders of suicide attempt survivors are changing the way we think.”

I too am moved by their lived experience and believe their inner wisdom holds the keys to our ability to better understand suicide prevention.

Guest Blog: Why I Donated My Psyche to Science

2011-07-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

I am delighted to introduce my guest blogger Amy (Cooper) Rodriguez. Her husband Dave was a good friend of my brother Carson's; they all attended Bowdoin College (class of '93). Last month she reached out to me to tell me they thought of Carson a lot and remembered his vitality. She also told me that she suffered from depression on a number of occasions (including while at Bowdoin) and did her best to hide it at all cost. Recently, she met with a group of medical students to let them interview her about her experiences with depression and anxiety and to let them know how good people can be at hiding it. Thank you, Amy for sharing your story. In her words...

Amy Cooper Rodriquez, Guest Blogger

As Robert Frost said, “I experience everything twice. Once when I experience it and once when I write about it.” Therein lies the reason I don’t like to talk-much less write- about depression.

But after successful treatment for post-partum depression, I was intrigued to get an email from my psychiatrist saying, “How would you feel about being interviewed by some second-year med students? You can tell them what you’ve gone through and help them understand a bit about depression and anxiety. You’d be great!”

Hmmm. What did this mean? I couldn’t figure out whether to be flattered or alarmed. Did this mean I was the epitome of anxiety…the most extreme case he’d ever seen? Or did it mean I was just high-functioning enough to put some answers together?

I had my first bout with depression when I was a sophomore at Bowdoin College. My boyfriend and I had broken up, and he was dating someone new. I watched them stroll hand in hand as I plodded across the quad to class. I felt as if I were wearing a lead vest from an x-ray. The campus still looked idyllic, like the brochure. The pine trees still reached into the brilliant blue sky while the sun shone on the students playing Frisbee, yet I could only observe: “The sky is very blue.” I had a hard time understanding people. When I think back, I picture cocking my head to the side while I listened to them, as if I were a dog, or squinting my eyes while I watched their mouths, as if I were hard of hearing. Worst of all, I didn’t tell anyone how I was feeling. Not only did I feel depressed, I felt ashamed.

When I recovered, I swore I’d never feel that shame again. But the next time, the shame was worse because this time my depression came with the birth of my first baby, my daughter. I remember how guilty I’d felt lying next to her thinking, what gives me the right to be sad when I have a beautiful, healthy baby? I wondered how many moms were out there now, lying next to their babies, crying. And I knew I had to contact my doctor and see what I could do.

I emailed my psychiatrist asking him what the meeting would involve. He left me an enthusiastic voicemail, “Oh, they need to learn how to listen to their patients. They’ll be more nervous than you! You’ll be wonderful!”

So, a week later I drove into Boston. Like everyone in hospital waiting rooms, I was nervous and fidgety. I sat up straight, slouched back into the chair, stood up, looked out the windows, and rummaged through my pocketbook.

At last, my doctor appeared, smiling warmly. He gestured behind him to a flock of eager young people in white coats. Beautiful people right out of Grey’s Anatomy.

“Amy,” my doctor said, “you’ll be coming with us. “Mike, here,” he pointed to the cutest one, “has agreed to do the interview.” Mike, with his dark hair and olive skin, smiled at me with piercing blue eyes. I found myself wishing he were less handsome.

My doctor led us to the hospital cafeteria where I scanned the room to see if I knew anybody. This seemed like a strange place for a confidential interview, but my doctor found a table tucked toward the back of the room. The students and I jockeyed awkwardly for seats. I didn’t want to be at the head of the table, like I was leading a boardroom meeting, nor did I want to be alone on one side of the table like an inmate at a parole board hearing. I was hoping for a we’re-all-in- this-together feeling.

I finally sat in the middle of one side, and hospitably waved for the students to sit. They looked nervous and, because of my habit of talking when I am nervous, I began to babble. “It’s so great that you guys are doing this. Wow. Med school. I went to PT school.” Smile. Smile. Babble. Babble. I was playing emcee for this group of medical students. I looked at my doctor as if to say please stop me.

He intervened. “Mike will ask you some questions, and you answer with whatever you are comfortable sharing.”

Mike smiled. He made excellent eye contact.

“So Amy, how’ve you been feeling?”

I reverted to the role of the happy patient. “Good. Good,” I answered, nodding my head and smiling.

Mike raised his eyebrows.

“Oh well, I used to be depressed,” I said, laughing nervously. “You know, back in college, when my boyfriend and I broke up. And then after I had my daughter. Sometimes I don’t feel so great, but then I see Dr. Sharp, and he helps me.”

Mike nodded and leaned toward me.

I leaned in, too, ready to be impressive and articulate. But then I thought, What am I doing? I am not here for a job interview. I am not trying to convince people of how capable I am. I took a deep breath and sat back. I remembered why I came. Why I paid a sitter to watch my kids. Why I drove through crazy Boston traffic. Not to chat with a handsome guy but to help doctors learn how to figure out their patients. To take time. To dig deeper. To really know them. Because they would all have patients like me who try to appear peppy and bright when they are dying inside.

I let my shoulders fall. “It’s been really, really hard,” I said. “I’ve been depressed a few times. I have to be careful to make sure my life is balanced. I take medicine, but I also have to talk about it and make time for myself.”

I scanned the table. They were all listening intently. So I held nothing back. “I’ve given birth twice, had surgeries, been hospitalized with infections, had migraines, and I would gladly take all of those experiences over being depressed. That’s how bad it feels.”

Suddenly I was acutely aware of my surroundings--not in anxious way--but in an empowered way. I had wanted to be honest, to try to help others, to reduce the stigma of mental illness. I had never been sure of how, but maybe this was it.

The students looked at me and nodded. I didn’t babble or fidget and neither did they. We sat in silence for a moment, and I knew they had heard me. After a pause, they began asking questions, and I answered them. It became less of an interview and more of a conversation. They asked me what made me tell the truth to Dr. Sharp and asked what they could do to get patients to talk. I told them, “I saw a lot of doctors who were fine but they never knew how much I struggled. Dr. Sharp took the time to chip away until I told him how bad things were. I think the doctor has to be open and caring, and I think the patient has to be ready.”

They thanked me graciously as we stood and shook hands. Then my doctor patted me on the back as he walked me to the door. “See?” he said. “I told you you’d do great. Thanks for helping us.”

Maybe it was the idealist in me, the romantic--the Grey’s Anatomy viewer, but I drove home feeling like those young people would understand more about their patients someday. Maybe someday a college girl like me would come in to their office- or a new mom ashamed to admit just how desperate she feels. Maybe it would be a middle-aged man-a CEO- or a new dad, and maybe these doctors-to-be would help. At least I hope so. And hope, so they say, is the best antidote to depression.

Working Minds Contest -- Celebrating Mentally Healthy Workplaces

2011-06-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

With so much focus on toxic workplaces and the stress of the economy on the employee, the Carson J Spencer Foundation decided to do something a little bit different: focus on the workplaces that are getting it right. While we know many workplaces are suffering under intense pressure resulting in bullying, depression, and dissatisfaction among the ranks, other workplaces have found ways to not only survive this rough spot, but to help their staff thrive. In recognition of this, the Carson J Spencer Foundation is hosting a contest to acknowledge mentally healthy workplaces. Application deadline is July 11, 2011.

Photo from Flickr by Bfick

Criteria:

• Must be a Colorado workplace (nonprofit, for-profit or governmental)

• Innovative and effective approaches that promote mental health at work

o New and creative methods implemented in your workplace

o Positive outcomes (e.g., lower absenteeism, increased productivity, increased retention)

Contest Guidelines: Submit a 500-word essay that answers the questions:

How is mental health promoted at your workplace? What strategies have you implemented and how have they been effective? Please give examples and data to support your statements.

Consider the following questions:

• How do you educate your workforce about mental health as part of overall wellness?

• What are the practices and policies that minimize distress at work?

• How does the workplace support those who are experiencing mental illness, trauma or bereavement?

• How does the workplace promote a sense of purpose and belonging?

Awards

First Place ($1219 award value)

• Recognition at Shining Lights of Hope Benefit Auction Evening (August 28th @ 5:00pm at Infinity Park in Glendale, CO)

o Award ceremony

o Prominent display of company logo (program and slide show)

o 5 complimentary seats at honoree table ($500 value)

• Public Relations

o Interview and feature article in CJSF newsletter and blog (reaching 2,000)

o Press release recognition as “mentally healthy workplace” sent to local media outlets

o Feature on Carson J Spencer Foundation website

• Training

o One year membership to Working Minds Network ($120)

o Complimentary Working Minds Toolkit ($99) and 2-3 hour training ($500)

Second Place ($769 value)

• Recognition at Shining Lights of Hope Benefit Auction Evening

o Award ceremony

o Logo display (program and slide show)

o 3 complimentary seats at honoree table ($300 value)

• Public Relations

o Announcement in CJSF newsletter (reaching 2,000) and website

• Training

o One year membership to Working Minds Network ($120)

o Complimentary Working Minds Toolkit ($99) and 1 ½ hour training ($250)

Third Place ($419 value)

• Recognition at Shining Lights of Hope Benefit Auction Evening

o Award ceremony

o Logo display (program and slide show)

o 2 complimentary seats at honoree table ($200 value)

• Public Relations

o Announcement in CJSF newsletter (reaching 2,000) and website

• Training

o One year membership to Working Minds Network ($120)

o Complimentary Working Minds Toolkit ($99)

Applications should be sent electronically to Sally Spencer-Thomas: Sally@CarsonJSpencer.org. For more information or to get an application, please call 720-244-6535.

About the Carson J Spencer Foundation - Sustaining a Passion for Life

The Carson J Spencer Foundation (www.CarsonJSpencer.org) is a Colorado nonprofit, established in 2005. We envision a world where leaders and communities are committed to sustaining a passion for life. We sustain a passion for life by:

• Delivering innovative and effective suicide prevention programs for working-aged people

• Coaching young leaders to develop social enterprises for mental health promotion and suicide prevention

• Supporting people bereaved by suicide

Working Minds Mentally Healthy Workplace Contest

Registration Form

CONTACT INFORMATION

Name of Contact Person

Position in organization

Organization address

Phone

Email

ABOUT ORGANIZATION

Name of Organization

Mission

Industry

Size of Workforce

Annual Revenue

How long in business

500 word essay --How is mental health promoted at your workplace? What strategies have you implemented and how have they been effective? (Please include examples and data documentation award review)?

Disclaimer:

By entering this contest, you give permission to allow the Carson J Spencer Foundation and the “Working Minds” program to share your success stories including pictures, appropriate interviews and the use of your logo.

Questions: Please contact Sally@carsonjspencer.org or 720-244-6535.

Top 10 Programming Tips for Mental Health Advocates

2011-05-01T18:18:00.000-07:00

For the past twenty years I have worked with mental health advocates on campuses and in communities to help them create positive change. Here are the top ten programming tips I have learned along the way:

1. Normalize struggle safely

Photo by Foxtongue

One goal for many mental health advocates is to let people know they are not alone. When mental illnesses and suicidal crises strike, people often suffer in silence. Letter people know what others have lived through similar challenges often provides comfort. One of the most successful programs using this strategy of “normalizing struggle” is Frank Warren’s Post Secret project. Frank encouraged strangers to send him their secrets written on postcards which he subsequently posted to a blog. The honesty of these pieces is very compelling and the program has been replicated on many college campuses and has started many positive conversations about despair and help-seeking. It’s the idea that pain shared is pain lessened. The trap that some mental health advocates fall into, however, is overemphasizing the prevalence of extreme behaviors as an “epidemic.” This type of messaging can make people feel hopeless about change. Worse, when it comes to suicide, this type of exaggeration might even create a cultural script that inadvertently influences people to engage in suicidal behavior, because it is the ‘norm’ of what people do to cope with pain. Following the safe messaging guidelines can help mental health advocates make sure what the messages they are sending are promoting health and not creating additional risk.

2. Offer screening tools that lead to action

Screening is a great example of a low cost, high impact tool for mental health advocates. Like with other health issues, screening for mental health conditions increases the likelihood that we can identify emerging symptoms and alter their course with early intervention. Screening offers people a way to anonymously self-assess, which is often an attractive first step for those who are ambivalent about help-seeking. A screening that just gives participant a label, however, will fall short. Effective screening tools give participants a call to action and link them to additional local and on-line resources. Many on-line and paper screening options exist (e.g., Screening for Mental Health), and nationally recognized days can make screening a part of a community’s regular health programming:

• National Depression Screening (October)

• National Eating Disorders Screening Day (February)

• National Alcohol Screening Day (April)

• National Anxiety Disorders Screening Day (May)

3. Know your resources on a first-person basis

Effective mental health advocates do their homework. If you want to be a trusted referral source, you need to walk your talk. Get to know your local mental health providers. Visit your local psychiatric hospital. Invite local counselors to a “meet and greet” event. Call your local crisis line to get a better sense of how it works. Ask the questions you need to have answered so you can confidentially refer. Your referral will be so much stronger if you can say, “Oh, I know Dr. So-n-so, she’s really approachable and competent. I’ll take you there to meet her if you’d like.”

4. Share stories of hope and recovery

A main goal of many mental health advocates is to reduce the stigma of mental illness; however, the more we talk about stigma, the more we actually reinforce it. Instead, we can fight stigma by sharing stories of hope and recovery. When we can demonstrate how others transform their wounds into sources of power, we create hope. When respected people come forward and say, “I suffered, and I got better” others feel they can get better too and the issues become less marginalized. When you do programs that highlight the experience of mental illness, be sure that they don’t end with despair; share the healing practices and positive outcomes as well.

5. Make programs attractive and fun

It’s human nature to turn away from things that are scary, confusing, and depressing. The challenge for mental health advocates is to make programs uplifting, engaging and cool without becoming so superficial they miss the point. One of my favorite examples of this outcome came from a student group I worked with a few years ago. One student was a musician, one worked at the radio station, and one was a community organizer. The musician came up with the idea to have friends write songs with themes of overcoming emotional struggles. These songs were then recorded in the campus radio station and turned into CDs. The community organizer then sold them to students, faculty and staff around campus to raise money for future mental health programs. The student musicians were excited to be recorded and helped spread the mental health messages much wider than the small group could do alone.

6. Tell people what you want them to remember

Sometimes, in our attempt to get attention to our cause, we play up tragic outcomes and overlook important calls to action and messages of hope. We need to tell people what we want them to remember: treatment works, prevention is possible, and people recover. Let people know what to do if they are struggling or if they are worried about a friend or loved one. Tell people exactly how to get involved in suicide prevention in their communities.

7. Engage leadership

Often mental health advocacy work gains momentum at the grassroots level – passionate families, students, or faith community members come together and apply their collective energy to make changes. “Grass-top” approaches should also be considered to augment this strategy. People in position of influence can often move things along more quickly and usually just need to know that people care about an issue. So, start the conversation. Write to your legislators. Set up a meeting with your university administrators. Have coffee with professional association and business leaders. Speak the language that is meaningful to them (voters needs, cost savings, student retention), and give them concrete and simple ways to help.

8. Provide opportunities for deep learning

Many mental health promotion efforts seek to promote awareness, but education alone will not move the needle. We call it the “State Trooper Effect.” We pay attention to educational or awareness raising efforts when they are done well and right in front of us, but once they are in our rear view mirror, we tend to go back to what we were doing before. Deep learning goes beyond passive input of knowledge. Deep learning engages people in a knowing-being-doing process. Yes, education is part of that equation – a necessary, but not sufficient piece. We also need to get people “doing” – physically, emotionally, and even spiritually involved in the work, and in order really make it stick, personal reflection on the experience is key.

9. Create a symbol of solidarity

We’ve seen the pink ribbons and the Livestrong bracelets. Symbols of solidarity work, but they need to be unique. When these symbols work well, people can see at a glance the community that is being built. Symbols used to promote suicide prevention can let people who are struggling know who might be a safe person to approach with questions. When the symbol of solidarity starts to spread to large groups of people it is a powerful testament to a person secretly in despair. Some examples of symbols of solidarity include:

Photo by Joits

• Mardi gras beaded necklaces often worn at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of Darkness Walk. Participants choose to wear different colors to symbolize their experience – one color represents “I have lost a loved one to suicide,” another color might mean “I have struggled myself,” while another “I support the cause of suicide prevention.”

• Stickers that show hands reaching out to one another hung on the room doors of Residence Hall Assistants who have been trained as suicide prevention gatekeepers.

• Stars displayed on the stage of a community forum – one star symbolizing each person who received help that year.

10. Promote belonging and purpose

Thomas Joiner’s model of suicide risk tells us that thwarted belongingness and perceived burdensomeness and two critical factors that increase a desire for suicide; the opposites of these states are belonging and purpose. When we create meaningful communities and let people know they are needed, we are doing suicide prevention.

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What are your top tips for effective mental health programming?

On the Power of Ritual to Make Meaning for Survivors of Suicide Loss

2011-04-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

Reprinted with permission from the American Association of Suicidology's Newslink newsletter

Many of us who are caught up in the conspiracy of busyness are often cut off from our grief. In many cultures in the U.S., we are trained to be fearful of death; we are conditioned to “get over” our loss and move on as quickly as possible. However, as a Jewish prayer states, “We do best homage to our dead by living our lives fully even in the shadow of our loss. Our grief is what allows us to begin to live our lives fully again after loss.” One of the ways I have found to work through the grief and loss of my brother’s suicide is through healing rituals.

Rituals are symbolic actions that usually acknowledge or honor transitions in our lives and can be very powerful tools for processing our emotions. For one, they can provide some containment for what feels like a chaotic, out-of-control experience. We usually don’t know what to do, especially in the aftermath of an unanticipated trauma like suicide. Rituals sometimes have very soothing, reassuring aspects to them and give our minds something meaningful to focus upon.

Many other reasons for the effectiveness of rituals exist. When words don’t suffice, rituals offer symbolic means to communicate. Community rituals help build a sense of solidarity. As we try to figure out a “new normal” in our individual and family lives, rituals can help give us structure. Rituals can become intentional releases like pressure valves; they can bring forth cherished memories and connect us to what matters most. Every year I engage in and facilitate a number of rituals for myself, my family and my community. Here are some:

Rituals of remembrance: Probably the most common rituals for grieving a loss are rituals of remembrance. Lighting candles in honor of our loved ones is a powerful and beautiful acknowledgement of the light they brought to the world. Saying the names of our deceased loved ones out loud also has a strong impact. I remember after my brother died by suicide, I was at a complete loss on what to do on Father’s Day for my Dad. When I meditated on this question, the image of a Weeping American Elm flashed in my mind’s eye. Planting a tree together provided a ritual that symbolized Carson’s enduring spirit and the seasons of our lives. Watching the tree grow reminds us that our bond with him continues.

Rituals of communication: Rituals of communication can give us the opportunity to say the things we couldn’t or didn’t while our loved one was alive. One way to do this is by writing a letter or a poem to our loved one.

Rituals of nurturing: Grieving is hard work, and often we are so overwhelmed by the intensity of our emotions, we forget to take care of ourselves. In the process, we can find ourselves drained or continually sick, and this just adds to our misery. Having a “comfort box” nearby can give us some ideas on how we can replenish ourselves. Soothing music or aromatherapy might be nurturing for some. Other people might include religious passages or affirmations that they find grounding. Pictures or stories that make us laugh or warm our soul can also help.

Rituals of reflection: In our busy lives we often find it hard to pause and reflect on where we have been, where we are at and where we are going. Rituals of reflection give us the space and structure to do this. Sometimes this form of ritual can be through meditation or prayer. Others times we may find journaling or drawing serve this purpose. I find long periods of meditation open up channels of thought or insight I cannot get in any other way. I follow these practices with journaling around the insights I have received, and I often look back on these entries to “connect the dots” of themes in my entries.

Rituals of community connection: Many of the local and national suicide prevention walks offer rituals of community connection as a way to publicly honor our loved ones and create a sense of belongingness among bereaved people. I have seen balloon releases, dove releases, and “mardi gras” bead wearing as examples of these community practices. At our AAS conference each year we have our survivor quilts (quilts made to honor our loved ones who died by suicide) displayed. These group rituals let us know we are not alone in our pain.

Rituals of release: Sometimes we have places in our grief that seem to get in our way. Guilt, anger, and regret can fester and keep us stuck. For rituals of release, some people have written these thoughts out on paper and then have burned the paper as a symbol of letting these toxic emotions go. Others have buried symbols of these emotions in the ground.

On the anniversary of my brother’s death, I bring out everything I have that reminds me of him. I usually take the day off from work and have the house to myself. I watch videos, look at pictures, and read the letters he wrote to me. I smile as I read the 10-year-old handwritten note he send me while I was at summer camp. I cry as I watch the video of him joyously playing with his daughter. I look at the pictures of us hugging at different ages in our lives and think, “he loved me, he loved me, he loved me.” And I put my finger right on the grieving, because I never want to lose touch with why I do this work. I will always remember, and I believe he walks with me as I go on this journey.

At the close of the Healing after Suicide Conference in April, we will have a healing ceremony for survivors of suicide loss. If you have a ritual you have found to be particularly powerful that can be done in a large group setting, I would love to have your ideas. Please, email me at Sally@CarsonJSpencer.org.

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For more resources for Survivors of Suicide Loss visit the American Association of Suicidology: click here.

The Carson J Spencer Foundation offers families recently bereaved by suicide iCare Packages (semi-customized resources packets). For more information: click here.

What rituals have helped you or others who have been bereaved by suicide?

The Simple Gift: Reaching Out and Renewing Hope at Work

2011-03-29T14:19:00.000-07:00

Reprinted with permission by the Colorado HR Association

Photo by mmlolek

After my brother died by suicide in 2004, my workplace gave me the most amazing gift – the gift of their support. As many of them reached out to me, their kindness made all the difference in my ability to cope with this devastating loss.

First, there was Jerene, my direct supervisor. Just two days after my brother’s death, Jerene called me up, “Sally where are you? I am coming over to give you something.”

She drove from our workplace up to my parents’ home and delivered a huge vat of chicken soup. During a time when my family could barely choke anything down, that soup sustained us.

Then there was Tom, my Vice President. On the day of the memorial service, Tom joined many of my co-workers at the church. After the service was over, he found me and gently cupped my face in his hands to express his sympathy. This tender gesture was so heartfelt and kind; I will never forget it.

Finally, my bereavement leave ended, and I found myself facing the reality that I needed to return to work and some level of functioning. When I opened the door to my office on my first day back, my desk was covered with cards, flowers and well-wishes. From co-workers I knew well, and from folks I didn’t know at all. I instantly knew that the support I was going to get was going to carry me through this very difficult part of my life.

Belonging

Humans are hardwired to be in relationship with others. For some these are vast connections and broad social networks, and for others just a few intimate bonds are all they need. Workplaces that are mentally healthy cultivate a sense of belonging. Work teams and social groups can sometimes evolve into friendships that last a lifetime. Belonging fosters a sense of trust and interdependency that can help distressed workers find hope during tough times. When workmates pull together around difficult assignments, the encouragement they give one another can be the protective factor that decreases the impact of high levels of stress. For these reasons, workplaces that foster genuine belonging will find they have more mentally resilient employees.

A Little Goes a Long Way

While we can all think of some people that are constant drains in relationships because their needs are so great, most people do not need much. A little caring usually goes a long way. For example, in one study, hospitals sent caring letters to people who had recently been discharged after a serious suicide attempt. The letters just said something to the effect of, “We’re so glad you came in for treatment. Please, call us if we can help in any way.” Each letter was personalized to a small degree and signed by the attending care provider. The research found that the patients who received the caring letters were significantly less likely to have a subsequent suicide attempt than those who didn’t get the letters. If that wasn’t enough, the study was replicated using computer generated postcards – no personalization whatsoever. The same outcome resulted. If a computer generated postcard can have this level of impact, think about what is possible when people who know each other reach out and say, “I see that you have been looking down lately. I am here for you.”

Reaching the Unreachable

Another known fact is that people who have multiple risks for suicide are also sometimes the least likely to seek help on their own. Because of this, caring work communities need to be intentional in reaching the “unreachable.”

Mother Teresa was known for helping those that no one else would. In a story she wrote in her book, In the Heart of the World, she talks about finding an elderly man who had been ignored by everyone and whose home was in complete disarray.

She told him, "Please, let me clean your house, wash your clothes, and make your bed." He answered, "I'm okay like this. Let it be."

She persisted and he finally agreed. While she was cleaning his house, she discovered a beautiful lamp, covered with dust.

She asked him, "Don't you light your lamp? Don't you ever use it?"

He answered, "No. No one comes to see me. I have no need to light it. Who would I light it for?"

She asked, "Would you light it every night if the sisters came?"

He replied, "Of course."

From that day on the sisters committed themselves to visiting him every evening. They cleaned the lamp and lit it every evening.

Two years went by and Mother Teresa had completely forgotten that man when she received a message from him: "Tell my friend that the light she lit in my life continues to shine still."

Re-Gifting

One of the great things about the gift of reaching out is that we can re-gift it and people don’t think it’s tacky. It turns out the idea of “paying it forward” is both a gift to the receiver and a gift to the giver. When people who have been helped through a difficult time are able to help another, they often find meaning in their earlier struggle and value the wisdom gained.

This notion of “reciprocity” is one of the cornerstones in what make programs like Alcoholics Anonymous work. When people successfully go through the 12-steps of the program and maintain their sobriety, they can become sponsors and support others who are just beginning. The work of being a sponsor helps many maintain sobriety because it strengthens positive self-regard. Furthermore, sponsors find that being there for someone else makes them hold themselves accountable to being a worthy role model.

If people who are resistant to seeking help see an opportunity to pay it forward by mentoring another down the road, they often become more inclined to receive the gift of help. Peer support and mentoring programs offer these opportunities at worksites, but other opportunities can exist within communities.

In summary, reaching out is a great gift – one size fits all, and it’s easy to exchange.

For more information on suicide prevention, intervention or postvention training visit www.WorkingMinds.org or contact Sally@CarsonJSpencer.org.

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What have you noticed about how others do or do not give each other support at work?

Tsunami: The Aftermath of a Suicide Crisis

2011-03-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

My brother Carson died by suicide December 7, 2004 -- the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, two weeks before Christmas, and two weeks before his 35th birthday. It was also two weeks before the Asian tsunami. As the world reacted to that disaster, the aftermath of Carson’s death similarly hit our family, as we too were flooded, overwhelmed, and left helpless. The news of his suicide crashed tsunami-like around us – totally engulfing us in despair and darkness. Frozen and in shock, we fought for every breath, thinking “This cannot be happening.” I confused night with day, day with night. I remember feeling very, very vulnerable. I would be driving to the airport to pick up a guest for Carson’s memorial service and I would look up and have no idea where I was or what I was doing. Then I would be hit by a wave of panic as I were sure everyone on the road was going to hit my car.

After the birth of my third child in September, I had been on maternity leave for the months leading up to Carson’s death. I had burned up all my sick and vacation time, and the three days we are given to grieve a first degree relative. I needed to resurface and go back to work. I remember coming up for air and looking around; the landscape had changed because my brother was no longer in it. Everything looked and felt different. Things that were so desperately important at work before no longer mattered. I both dreaded and welcomed my first day back to the office. Dread because I just didn’t care anymore; desired because I missed the structure and sense of purpose my workplace provided me. I remember the first day back. I opened my office door to see a pile of cards and flowers on my desk. My inbox was filled with well-wishes, many from people I didn’t even know. I knew with this level of support that I would be okay. My workplace gave me the flextime to access our Employee Assistance Program and attend support groups, which I did. They told me to do what needed to do to get back on my feet, and I am forever grateful for their kindness during this very trying time in my life.

Just like the tsunami, the ripple effects of Carson’s death spread deep and wide, and to this day still continue to affect others. Thanks to social media, I am still connecting with people Carson knew who are just now learning of his passing. His co-workers and business partners established a scholarship in his memory designed to help young entrepreneurs get to college. This loving affirmation of my brother’s life carries on his gift of helping others and gave many of those connected through his work a chance to honor his life.

The aftershocks of the trauma were severe at first, some of them predictable like on Father’s Day, his wedding anniversary, his birthday, and certainly his death anniversary. Others caught us off guard, like the time I was digging through a box of photos. I found a picture that I had forgotten about, of us dancing at my wedding. Not many brothers and sisters dance to their own song when they get married to another person, but Carson and I had a song: Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” Whenever we heard it on the radio we would belt it out to each other at the top of our lungs as silly as possible. At my wedding, Carson and I twirled around the dance floor – my hair coming out of the up-do, his shirt hanging untucked from his tuxedo. And someone snapped a picture as we joyously sang the chorus, eyes locked and laughing. When I found this picture, I wept and wept. Then I made a copy of it to hang next to my computer at work, so I would never forget.

As with the tsunami, the rebuilding process has been long and hard, requiring many systems of support. In this sense I often feel lucky, because unlike many survivors of suicide I had a workplace that was supportive, a faith community that understood his suicide as the fatal outcome of a mental illness (not a crime against God), and a network of friends and co-workers who did all the right things.

I don’t tell this story because I want pity or because I need sympathy. While losing Carson has clearly been the most difficult experience of my life, I have been given many gifts along my grief journey. I was reminded of this by the leader of the rock group Seether, who lost his younger brother to suicide and wrote a song called “Rise Above This” on the album Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces. This too has been my experience in grief. I have found depth in relationships and spirituality and an unwavering calling of vocation. No, I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I tell this story because so few families do, and thus, people think it can never happen to them. While I am humbled by this experience, I am also hopeful. Suicide is arguably one of the more preventable causes of death, so I also share this story in hopes that others will come forward and say, “I too have been affected, and I want to make a difference - how can I get involved?” And finally, I share this story because people who are in a suicidal crisis often think they those who love them will be better off without them. I am here to tell them that suicide causes a legacy of trauma and pain that continues for generations. No matter how hard it gets, you never know what is waiting for you around the corner.

Bridging the Gap: Interview with Author Jack Jordan

2011-03-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

Reprinted with permission from the American Association of Suicidology's Surviving newsletter

Jack Jordan, co-author of Grief After Suicide (available on Amazon.com)

As I was pulling together my syllabus to teach a course on Suicidology to graduate level clinicians, I was searching for a text on suicide postvention when one arrived at my doorstep. Dr. Jack Jordan, a clinical psychologist from Pawtucket, Rhode Island, had sent a copy of the recently published book Grief After Suicide: Understanding the Consequences and Caring for the Survivors. Jack co-authored the book with Dr. John McIntosh and sent it to me for my review. After flipping through the pages, I was impressed with the depth and breadth of the book, and called him immediately to thank him and interview him about this work. The following conversation transpired on December 3, 2010.

Sally: Who is Jack Jordan?

Jack: I’m sort of an odd duck. I’m a clinical psychologist in private practice, but I also function like an academic. Twenty-five years ago, I became involved in the “Family Loss Project” – a group of practicing clinicians who were interested in the impact of loss on family systems, especially multigenerational impact.

Sally: How did you get into the work of studying grief among survivors of suicide loss?

Jack: Thirteen years ago, I had an epiphany. We were working with survivors of suicide loss in our practice and I thought, “They should be talking to each other.” So, we started a support group and it ran for about 13 years. To me, this was an inspiration. I saw their suffering, but I also saw their resilience and how they helped each other.

Sally: What came next?

Jack: I became involved with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and co-wrote the manual for their facilitator training program with Joanne Harpel. I took the training for the Suicide Prevention Resource Center’s Assessing and Managing Suicide Risk curriculum. Now I train and consult around the country and the world.

Sally: Has suicide touched you personally?

Jack: I am a distant suicide survivor – my great uncle took his life in 1987, but it was not a life-transforming loss because I only knew him in my childhood. It was my Dad’s death due to cancer when I was in my 20s that pulled me into grief work.

Sally: What is the inspiration for the book?

Jack: The book comes out of my interest in bridging the gap between research, academia, clinical work, and survivors. It has been apparent to me for a long time, somebody needs to do this; so finally I decided, maybe it’s me. I invited John [McIntosh] to work with me because he has researched and written about survivor issues for a long time.

Sally: What are the goals for the book?

Jack: Our target audience is really researchers and clinicians, and to a lesser extent activist survivors. This is not a self-help book; it’s really meant to say, “What has happened in the last 20 years in the field of survivor studies?”

Sally: Tell me about the book’s journey. What have been some of the challenges and celebrations?

Jack: I have gone from despair – was I actually going to survive this? – to some revelations. Everyone connected to you endures some of this. I pay homage to my wife for her patience. The revelation came because this work helped me see even more clearly how much is going on simultaneously around the world. Suicide awareness and prevention have been coming out of the closet. Now survivors are too. I hope the book accelerates this. All this amazing stuff. This work also helped me understand that despite some obvious cultural differences, the themes of survivor grief are similar around the world. I expected more differences, but at the heart of it all, losing someone to suicide transcends cultural difference.

I had a great partner in this. John loves to do the stuff I loathe. The APA references made me completely nuts. Thank God John could do this. My forte is about broad strategic thinking and writing.

Sally: What has happened since the book was published?

Jack: I went to a conference in October [2010] and had not seen a hard copy yet. There it was, and someone asked me, “Would you autograph these?” Strange experience. Surreal. I thought, “Oh, the cover came out pretty good. Maybe I’ll buy a copy.” Hopefully, the book will serve as a catalyst in the field, stimulating more research and clinical theory.

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For more resources for Survivors of Suicide Loss visit the American Association of Suicidology: click here.

The Carson J Spencer Foundation offers families recently bereaved by suicide iCare Packages (semi-customized resources packets). For more information: click here.

What are your thoughts on what is needed to support survivors of suicide loss?

How to Develop Mental Health Awareness Programs

2011-02-03T07:58:00.000-08:00

I love dreaming up innovative and engaging suicide prevention and mental health promotion programs with students and communities. When I am with a group in the brainstorming phase of what is possible, I get really excited about cool programs that might reach people in new ways. When we generate our list of ideas, and narrow down on what we THINK might work, we then ask ourselves, how will these ideas fit into a comprehensive and sustainable approach?

Here are three key steps to developing a successful mental health program:

STEP #1: Develop a Circle of Evaluation – we all know that resources for mental health promotion are precious on our campuses and in our communities, so we must make sure we are maximizing positive change. In order to do this, we need to find ways to measure our outcomes along the way. Throughout the process of the program’s development and implementation we can figure out what is working and what’s not by:

• Conducting a needs and strengths assessment to determine where the gaps on our campuses are

• Piloting our campaign or program before we implement to make sure we are on the right track

• Measuring immediate impact beyond just “numbers of people who attended” – what are we hoping happens after people have been exposed to our program? For ideas look into best practices in program evaluation.

• Evaluating longer-term outcomes – what is the ultimate purpose of our programs and are we meeting those goals?

One effective tool to use when developing a mental health program is a LOGIC MODEL. This process helps you think through the above questions and how they link together.

STEP #2: Look at All Levels of Prevention

When I ask folks which groups we need to focus on when we develop our suicide prevention and mental health promotion programs, I inevitably hear “everyone!” While it’s true that everyone can potentially benefit from some piece of a larger mental health promotion effort, I find when you try to reach EVERYONE, you end up reaching no one. As you develop your mental health program consider these three levels of prevention:

• Primary prevention is designed to reach a whole community by promoting general strategies that we can all benefit from (e.g., knowing the Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255)

• Secondary prevention is targeted at high risk groups such as people with pre-existing mental health conditions or LGBT students. These strategies look at minimizing risk factors and bolstering protective factors for these groups.

• Tertiary prevention strategies focus on individuals who are already distressed and are designed minimize the impact of mental illness or suicidal behavior (e.g., promoting mental health services or support groups).

STEP #3: Research Evidence-Based Practices

When you are developing your programs, you should consult the Best Practice Registry to get some guidance on where to start. Because there is so much emerging research in the fields of mental health promotion and suicide prevention, you may find there is little research in your specific area. If this is the case, you can also look at respected theories like Dr. Thomas Joiner’s Interpersonal Theory of Suicide or Dr. Patrick Corrigan’s work on stigma reduction to help guide your decisions. Be sure to also consult the safe messaging guidelines before you get too attached to an idea, because sometimes what we THINK helps people, actually can increase risk.

Resources for Next Steps

Please visit the following resources to research what we know works in suicide prevention:

http://www.sprc.org/
http://www.peoplepreventsuicide.org/

I have a draft of a mental health programming booklet – please email me (Sally@CarsonJSpencer.org) if you would like a copy.

Be creative! Be strategic! Have fun and let me know how it goes. If you want to share your programs with me, I would love to include them in the booklet.

For a more in-depth presentation of these topics, please listen to my podcast:

PODCAST

Man Up! Suicide Prevention and Men of Working Age Part I: Men at Risk

2011-01-10T19:51:00.000-08:00

photo from Velvettangerine

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for men 25-34
Males are four times more likely to die from suicide than females
The majority of people who die by suicide in Colorado are white (non-Hispanic) men of working age

Source: WISQARS, Centers for Disease Control

Gender role socialization theories offer a perspective that helps explain these statistics. Cultural codes of achievement, aggression, competitiveness, and emotional isolation are consistent with the masculine stereotype; depressive symptoms are not. Cultural ideals of rugged individualism lead to social fragmentation and fewer coping alternatives. In fact, when we look at gender roles a double jeopardy emerges. That is, those men who are in the most need of psychological help are the least likely to use them.

According to Mansfield, Addis and Mahalik (2003), when men consider seeking help, they often go through a series of internal questioning:

1) Is my problem normal? The degree to which men believe other men experience the same problem affects their decision to seek help. A prime example of this psychological process is erectile dysfunction. Before Senator Bob Doles’ public disclosure, many men thought they were the only ones suffering from this highly common and highly treatable problem. After the public campaign, many more men sought help.

2) Is my problem central to who I am? If the mental health symptoms reflect an important quality about the person (for example the hypomania in bipolar disorder that impacts creativity or productivity), then the person will be less likely to seek help.

3) Will others approve of my help-seeking? If others, especially other men, are supportive, then the person will be more likely to go. Help-seeking is particularly likely if the group is important to the person and unanimous in their support.

4) What will I lose if I ask for help? For many the biggest obstacle for asking for help is fears losing control: losing work privileges or status, being “locked up,” or losing one’s friends or family.

5) Will I be able to reciprocate? Usually, the mental health services offered do not allow opportunities for reciprocity. Because of ethical standards, the mental health practitioner is often not allowed to share personal information or receive favors, thus maintaining a position of power over the client. For some men, receiving help is acceptable only if they can return the favor later on; in the relationship with a mental health provider, this is often not possible. One exception is Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). According to their mission, “Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.” According to the AA fact file, men make up 65 percent of membership in AA, indicating that this model of reciprocity is appealing to men. By contrast, among persons with any recent mental health disorder, a higher percentage of women (16%-26%) made mental health visits than men (9%-15%).

Thus, as we begin to this of how to reach men at risk, we need consider alternative ways to reach those who might be the least likely to seek help. This requires a paradigm shift on our part. Stay tuned to the second part of this series to learn more.

What are your thoughts on men and help-seeking?

The Gift of Secrets

2010-12-28T12:33:00.000-08:00

As we find ourselves in the season of gift giving, I recalled a great lesson I learned from a man with a simple but profound idea.

“We keep our secrets in a box. Sometimes we bury them deep like a coffin. Sometimes they are like a gift that we open up and share with others,” Frank Warren, founder of PostSecret, said to a packed audience of college students who participated in this year’s Active Minds Annual Conference in New Jersey.

Frank Warren at Active Minds Conference

As a mental health speaker, I love to hear other speakers share their ideas on how to help people thrive. I was especially transfixed by Frank Warren, America’s most trusted stranger, talk about the power of secrets in our lives. Frank started with a simple idea: letting people unburden themselves of their secrets by encouraging all to send their anonymous secrets to him on postcards. What has evolved over the years is a compelling project with a strong suicide prevention message.

Frank has had secrets mailed to him on sea shells, a potato, even a death certificate. Of the millions of secrets he has received from all over the world, he has learned a few things about what we hide about ourselves and how we are very curious to know these potent pieces of information about each other.

“At the center of these secrets there is a kernel of wisdom we can grow from,” Warren states. “When we think we are carrying a secret, sometimes it is actually carrying us. Blocking us from what we might otherwise be.”

Frank has learned one of the important tenets of my resiliency talks – sharing our personal struggles helps us to create intimacy and community with others. When we go beyond “the mask” we wear each day, we create a deeper channel of knowing and a stronger bond. This sense of belonging can help us withstand future challenges we might face. Frank closes his talks by training students on some basic suicide prevention skills: ask the direct question “are you thinking about suicide?” and know your resources for mental health help, like the 1-800-273-8255 Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Frank has also witnessed how we can overcome our brokenness and become more resilient by rising above our hardships in live, “the children almost broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it tomorrow.”

Thank you, Frank, for a wonderful example of how a simple idea can move the world to action.

What are your thoughts on the power of secrets?

Social Entrepreneurship Part II Working Minds for Youth: Social Enterprise for Suicide Prevention

2010-12-18T18:55:00.000-08:00

The other night our high school social entrepreneurs were amazing. After serving them pizza, we gave them a 20-minute challenge: to work together to develop a t-shirt or mural idea that would help prevent suicide in their community. We mixed students from different schools into small groups, gave them pens and paper and let them go.

Social enterprise students brainstorming ideas for suicide prevention

Now these students aren’t new to the ideas of suicide prevention or social enterprise. They have been working with the Carson J Spencer Foundation and Junior Achievement since September to gain mastery in both areas and have been thinking about how the two missions might best work together. Every week for at least an hour they receive coaching on business skills like marketing, finances, and product development and on suicide prevention skills like how to be a suicide prevention gatekeeper, how to conduct a needs analysis and how to promote safe messages to increase awareness. They are a passionate, dedicated crew.

The challenge this week was just a warm up, and you can see some of their excitement and creative ideas by viewing this 3-minute video montage.

In February each school participating in this project will have developed a viable business plan for a social enterprise for suicide prevention. In other words, they will have dreamt up a sustainable product or service that will raise money and create a positive change for this life-saving cause. They will then pitch their ideas before the Carson J Spencer Foundation’s Board of Directors, competing for seed money to launch their business. Winners will go on to use the money to implement their plans during the spring semester. At the end of this second semester another round of competition will take place – this time the winners will be rated on both the financial profit and the social profit earned through their work. They will be rated on: innovation, effectiveness, sustainability, and revenue.

Green Mountain High School students cheering after winning business plan competition

I love this project because it just works on so many levels. By partnering with Junior Achievement, we are engaging a new audience for suicide prevention: our future business leaders. Students are passionate about suicide prevention because even at their young ages, many of them have already been touched in some way – either their own mental health crisis, or someone they love. The project is also just plain cool. Social enterprise is a great new trend – a creative blend of the efficiency of the business sector with a heartfelt mission of the non-profit sector. Students are empowered to use their creativity and be leaders in their community. Win, win, win.

Check back in February to see how they did…

Social Entrepreneurship Part I: Using Business Skills to Solve Social Ills

2010-12-12T17:25:00.000-08:00

Recently, I joined a group of social entrepreneurs sitting around a crowded table at the Women’s Bean Project headquarters in Denver for a historic moment in the social enterprise movement: the group voted to launch a Colorado chapter of the Social Enterprise Alliance. As someone who has championed social entrepreneurship education among our young people for the past five years, this is great news. Together, we can forge the power of a coalition to increase the capacity of social enterprise initiatives around the state and to expand public consciousness, embracing and promoting these cutting edge ideas.

Lisa Nitze, President & CEO of Social Enterprise Alliance charges the group to dream big
as we launch our Colorado chapter.

What is Social Entrepreneurship?

In his documentary series on social entrepreneurs called The New Heroes, Robert Redford described social enterprise as “Applying business skills to resolving social ills…part saint, part politician, part business person.”

While an entrepreneur thinks in terms of results and profits, a social entrepreneur seeks results that will change people’s lives simply, quickly, and profoundly. Social entrepreneurs use innovation and strategic partnerships to address root causes of social problems ranging from poverty to pollution, from mental illness to youth-at-risk. The “social profit” of a social entrepreneur is sustainable human and economic development.

Social entrepreneurs conduct gap analyses in their communities – looking to address needs and build on strengths. They look to seize an idea that fills a unique niche and has potential for scalability. And just like in the business world, social entrepreneurship is linked with risk. Social entrepreneurs are courageous, unconventional and able to see new opportunities when others see nothing but hopelessness.

When contrasted to charity, social enterprises don’t rely entirely on community support for their own sustainability; social enterprises work to generate the earned revenue needed to keep their operation going. Social enterprises also don’t just serve immediate needs, like food and shelter, without addressing the underlying causes perpetuating these needs. Social entrepreneurs view the marginalized as the solution not as a passive beneficiary. The social enterprises they build begin with the assumption of competence and resources in communities they are serving.

In the words of Bill Drayton, CEO, chair and founder of Ashoka, “Social entrepreneurs are not content just to give a fish or teach how to fish. They will not rest until they have revolutionized the fishing industry.”

I got interested in social enterprise while I was getting my Masters in Nonprofit Management a few years ago. My instructor and founder of Triple Bottom Line Partners, Nancy Fell, inspired me to apply these concepts to the work of the Carson J Spencer Foundation (CJSF) and the leadership development courses I was teaching at the time. In 2007, CJSF won a business plan competition for our gift basket enterprise that tied into our work promoting mental health, but we found it was too labor intensive for our human resource capacity. Today, this gift basket concept has evolved to what we call “iCare packages”: books, comforting music, and other resources we attractively package and send to families recently bereaved by suicide. We have solved our human resource problem by forging strategic partnerships to assist with the distribution. From 2006-2009, I taught a sophomore seminar that challenged the students to create social enterprises for suicide prevention, and most rated this activity the most useful learning of the whole course. Today, CJSF works with high school youth through a program we call "Working Minds for Youth" to expand these ideas and support the development of the next generation of socially entrepreneurial suicide prevention advocates – stay tuned…

Next blog:

Social Entrepreneurship Part II: Working Minds for Youth – Raising Money and Awareness for Suicide Prevention

How have you seen social enterprises impact communities?

Spirituality and Suicide Bereavement Part II: Spiritual Signs from Loved Ones

2010-12-06T17:21:00.000-08:00

Because I have walked the path with many survivors of suicide loss, I know that there is something survivors talk about all the time that is rarely, if ever, explored in scholarly publications, so I will open the door in the context of discovery here in the hopes that others will find ways to further its research. What I am referring to are the signs that many of us experience in the aftermath of our loved one’s death that in every cell of our bodies feels like a communication from our loved ones. On the eve of 6th anniversary of Carson's death, I share some of my experiences in the hopes of connecting those in the survivor community who have also experienced the unexplainable. I also hope that this sparks a conversation among those interested in suicide bereavement that leads the field of suicidology into further research on this topic.

During the first six months after Carson’s death, I had several spiritual experiences that to me felt like nothing I had ever experienced before. While I can believe, that perhaps these were the manifestations of a traumatized brain, I also hold open the possibility that they were more than that. While all of the experiences played important roles in my healing journey, I will share with you the last and most profound one – his “goodbye visit” to me while I was on my second honeymoon in Hawaii.

It was only six months after Carson’s suicide when my husband Randy and I gently opened the spring-loaded door that swung back upon us and entered this place of dreams: an old cottage on the beaches of Kauai. Bang, bang, bang the door retorted behind us as we eased onto the wise, creaky floors that carried the footsteps of history before us. This cozy plantation home had been relocated from the sugar fields of Kauai to its new resting place on the sometimes sandy, sometimes grassy Hawaiian shore near Wimaya Canyon. Its musty scent held the mystery of sun and sea as we tenderly placed our bags upon its well-worn wooden floor and set off to explore. On the back porch, the salty breeze was laced with the celebratory, syrupy scent of flowers just past their prime, and we slid into the oversized Adirondack chairs that engulfed us and whispered gently, “relax.” When started planning this trip to celebrate our 10-year anniversary well before my brother’s death, this was exactly what I had imagined. We leaned into the place, longing for the warmth of the sun, and delighting in the hoppy and deep-fried air wafting from the brewpub behind us, “Ah, peace.”

That night as we went to bed, the muffled murmurs of the other tourists returning from big adventures drew closer and then farther away as their sandals crunched the gravel of the path past our cottage to theirs. As I drifted off to sleep, Randy’s deep breathing rose like the comforting sweet steam from a home-cooked stew and lulled me into a vivid dream state.

In the dream Carson appears before me and I am once again instantly struck with a sucking feeling just below my sternum that radiates both terror and awe to my extremities like an electric shock. He is an adult this time, dressed simply in a “red dirt t-shirt” and jeans. The red dirt t-shirts were a touristy souvenir of the region where we were staying, dyed from the red tinted earth on the Wimaya land, so I knew this was his way of telling me he was here with me. His face expressed gently worn nuances of eyes that knew more and were both sad and reassuring and a mouth that raised tentatively on the edges. We found ourselves at the swimming pool that was built between the cottages and the ocean. On the day Randy and I had arrived at the plantation cottages, the water in this pool had been too cold to swim. In the dream the water was soothing and perfectly tepid. Carson approached this simple rectangular in-ground pool with blue water and wide edging, and slowly walked down its steps toward me. We met in the middle of the pool and he gave me an engulfing hug. In slow-motion, we sank into the viscous liquid, deeper and deeper as if being pulled by an anchor to the bottom of the pool. Then, thud. We landed on the gritty pool floor.

“This is the last time,” he whispered.

I felt his large, powerful body start to dissolve in my arms.

“No, no, no, no, no!” I screamed until I could feel him no more. And I woke up with a startle and the strange but familiar cocktail of fear and rage burning like acid in my esophagus. My thoughts were racing, “this may be the last visit in a plantation cottage in Kauai, but not the last time you will visit me!”

I bolted out of bed and shuffled my way through the darkness to the bathroom, where the grounding coolness of porcelain tile, started to erode my agitated state. I sat there, my head on the toilet cover, heart slowly returning to my chest, and relayed my latest dream to my husband who, as usual, listened politely, without comment.

The next day was our final day in this magical place, and we had decided to take a cruise around part of the island, but our boat did not leave the dock until much later that afternoon, so we decided to walk around the touristy shops of the town. And of course, we quickly ran into a store called the “Red Dirt T-Shirt Shop.”

I turned to Randy, “Let’s go in.”

On one level I was thinking I needed to get just one more present for our littlest boy, Jackson. I had bought our other two sons little Hawaiian shirts, but I had not found one small enough for our 8-month old. On another level, I was hoping for one more mystery to emerge. I turned to the back rack and flipped through the options until I found what I was looking for, and then I headed to the counter.

I stood in line behind a woman who was speaking with the clerk behind the counter loud enough for me to hear. She spoke of the clerk’s daughter who apparently had just died, and of the doctor who had taken his life, apparently out of remorse for not saving the girl.

Then it was my turn at the counter.

Before I had even put my purchase up, and with a line of people behind me, I said, “I had a dream last night. My brother who died by suicide was in it wearing a red dirt t-shirt, and now I am here, I just overheard your conversation, and I think I am supposed to talk to you.”

Without missing a beat she said, “Your brother is fine.”

I felt the air releasing from my lungs, like a balloon that has been untied.

“The man I was just speaking about…the doctor….He also visited me in my dreams after my daughter died, asking for my forgiveness. And I said, of course.”

I thanked her, paid for my little Hawaiian suit and as I walked out the door, I turned to Randy and said, “See! I just can’t make this stuff up!”

Since that dream, I have not had the same intensity of what I believe to be a connection with Carson. What those experiences gave me, however, was a belief that there is more than we can understand in the spiritual realm while we are in our current existence. I believe that my brother was doing his best to ask for forgiveness and say the goodbyes that he didn’t get to in life. I am reassured that his spirit is okay, that his soul has moved on to other things, and that I will be seeing him again when my life is over. Before my brother died, I did not have a spiritual framework that supported these beliefs, but now I do. This was his gift to me. Because of these experiences, I find myself talking to him often – asking him for clarity and courage, like others might talk to God. Like many others, I am learning to develop a new relationship with my loved one. He isn’t gone, our relationship has just changed.

For those of you bereaved by suicide – have you received signs from your loved ones? Please, share your stories here.

Yesterday I Wore Purple: Suicide, Gay Youth and Bullying

2010-10-21T05:22:00.000-07:00

Photo by Nono Fara

Purple happens to be my favorite color, but yesterday when I went to put something purple on, my heart was heavy. Yesterday, people all over the country chose to wear purple to honor the young gay teens who took their lives because of bullying. People wore purple to show solidarity in standing up against hate.

Will wearing purple erase homophobia? Will it bring back those that we have lost? No. But never underestimate the power of the masses to bring change. When someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts or feels confused about their identity, one of the biggest lifts they can experience is to know they are not alone. To know that others have struggled and come out the other side. To know that “it gets better.”

In the past few weeks, the collective grief around these losses has been everywhere, and people with influence to do something about it are also being visible and vocal:

• An openly gay Council Member from Fort Worth Texas speaks candidly about his experiences with bullying and lets teens know that things can be different. His powerful taped testimony goes viral on YouTube.

• The Secretary of Health and Human Services and the Secretary of Education release an op-ed piece taking a stand on the issue.

• Ellen DeGeneres makes several public remarks expressing her concerns.

Last year, the Carson J Spencer Foundation and Regis University developed a suicide prevention campaign to empower allies to “come out” and save lives by actively working to create safe spaces for gay college students. This social justice campaign was called “Allies in Action” and components of it are now being replicated on other campuses.

Together, as our collective voices become louder, we will reach the ears of the struggling teens to let them know, “there is something on the other side of your distress.” And we will reach the minds of the bullies to let them know, “you are wrong, and we will not tolerate hate.”

Suicide and Spirituality Part I: The Roles of Faith and Faith Communities

2010-10-19T12:18:00.000-07:00

The day after my brother died, my family reached out to my faith community to see if they would be willing to allow his memorial service to be held at my church just six days later. My brother and parents were not members of my faith community, but the church welcomed us with open arms anyway. On December 13th, 2004, the church was filled with hundreds of mourners, most of who had traveled to Colorado by plane, and the service beautifully honored my brother’s life without looking away from the horrible tragedy of his death.

In the days and weeks following my brother’s death, the faith leaders and pastoral-care counselors of my faith community reached out to my parents and me to offer support and assistance. The following year, they allowed me to host our first annual candlelight healing ceremony during the holiday season to support families who might be struggling with loss or life challenges – a tradition we continue to this day. Each year the event grows as more people find this a safe place to grieve during and otherwise celebratory time of year. After the pastoral leader shares some words on the important role of grief in our lives, we light candles in honor of our loved ones, listen to spiritual music, and share responsive readings on loss. Almost everyone stays long after the service is over, eating refreshments and talking with each other and the pastoral counselors present. It has become a very powerful tradition in our church.

Now our church has engaged in public advocacy for suicide prevention. Our youth group turns out by the dozens to walk in the largest suicide-prevention event in the country – all proudly wearing t-shirts that identify their connection to our church and the cause. This past year we started a “mental wellness advocates” group made up of consumers, attempt survivors, and those bereaved by suicide. We work toward helping to support those going through tough times, educating our church members about mental health and suicide, and advocating for positive change in our community.

I am lucky -- my faith community got it right. But many others aren’t so lucky, and often find their faith communities are less than supportive during their deepest time of need. As the front line responders for many memorial services, faith leaders need to know that their communication can facilitate healing or it can facilitate confusion and isolation. Faith leaders may inadvertently even cause additional pain and increased risk of further suicide among the bereaved or among other vulnerable individuals in the community.

Suicide is not just a mental health problem, it is a public health problem, and as such a coordinated prevention effort with other systems outside of mental health is required – including our faith communities. Faith communities are a critical piece of the prevention puzzle. Too often faith communities and mental health providers operate independently of one another as if they were relegated to their own silos of expertise. Individuals who seek out spiritual pursuits as a part of their coping and mental wellness would likely benefit from a collaborative approach between faith communities and mental health services.

Barb Roberts, a local pastoral care provider from a neighboring evangelical Christian church, shared with me her story of how she was impacted by a youth suicide early in her career. “Matt,” a 14-year-old church member, returned from a youth group retreat and took his life in his parents’ bedroom. Within hours scores of kids and traumatized staff and family started to converge on the church. Barb recalls how she and the other pastoral care staff just sat with those kids all night.

“Where was God?” they asked over and over again.

That experience motivated her to look deeper into the tenets of faith and how they viewed suicide. She discovered that the early church – 354-430 AD under Augustine – took a pretty harsh view of suicide, and for many years following that, the church had an approach against those who died by suicide and family left with not much comfort or hope. More recently, she discovered churches recognize people need to be helped not punished. Still, many have lingering questions, “How could this happen? Where is God in the midst of my pain? Is there any hope for the future?”

She said, “There used to be a mistaken belief that Christians just didn’t commit suicide. When a Senior Pastor took his life recently, our community was shaken. I have no doubt that he was a Godly man. What happened? Tragedy knows no bounds. Christians seem more ashamed, like suicide is a personal affront, and somehow a statement of a lack of faith. This statement has no authenticity. But it is hard. Christians can have chemical imbalances like anyone else and keeping the faith isn’t always easy when your life has been shattered and stripped bare.”

Many resources exist to help faith communities provide appropriate support for those bereaved by suicide. Stephen Ministries helps pastoral counselors and lay people by training them to support, reach out, and develop a whole model of care giving in many different denominations. The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill also has created a Caring Community certification process to help leaders support those in mental health crises. SPRC has published two documents on faith communities – one on memorial services and one on faith perspectives. Finally, in our work as a Garrett Lee Smith Grantee, the Carson J Spencer Foundation developed a series of posters, videos and guidelines for faith communities – see http://peoplepreventsuicide.org/spiritual-leaders for more information. We also published a booklet called “The Role of Faith Communities in Suicide Prevention: A Guidebook for Faith Leaders” (available on Amazon).

In reflecting on the role of her church in bereavement support, one faith leader representing mainline Protestant church said to me, “The gift our church brings to the issue of suicide is the idea of community. We help people to develop deep meaningful relationships where we journey through life together, where we lean on each other. All of us face those dark moments, those dark times when we are questioning, doubting and fearing. We need one another to hold us up and remind us that the tomb is empty, that every storm we face, God will get us through. God will make us stronger on the other side and even use us then in the lives of other people.”
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If you have been bereaved by suicide, what are the ways faith communities been helpful or harmful to you?

On Breathing...

2010-10-03T17:30:00.000-07:00

Photo by Szlea

On the past few posts I have commented on a number of major events in suicide prevention – some good news, some bad. This week offered another round of heartbreak as two more suicide deaths made headlines – both of them openly gay men, just days apart from each other. I find myself in tears again. More senseless death. The news can be overwhelming for those of us on the frontline. We care deeply and are putting everything we have into solving these problems from all conceivable angles. But honestly, there are too few of us, and our capacity to help is limited by so many obstacles.

I can’t tell you how many people have told me to “breathe” in the last month. As my roles in the suicide prevention field have become broader and deeper, I see so much work that needs to be done. At the national level, the Action Alliance is full steam ahead as some major players in the public and private sector weigh in on broad systemic change. On the local level, the Carson J Spencer Foundation is writing grants, conducting trainings, and expanding programs left and right. Last week I was working with the student affairs team at Johnson and Wales – speaking to their students and training their staff on building a comprehensive suicide prevention program. This week they are reeling from the aftermath of a suicide and implementing the crisis response suggestions we discussed just days before.

I feel so much despair and see so many promising opportunities. Others have noticed my rising anxiety as I work feverishly on one initiative and then another. Breathe, they tell me, breathe. The field needs you well, your organizations need you focused, your family needs you present. Breathe.

Photo by Darkpatator

So, today I took the dog for a run in the wooded trails near my home. This weekend, I made it a priority to breathe in the pine-scented air. I decorated the house with Halloween décor. I helped my boys find library books. I went to church and prayed; the sermon: “Creating Peace.” I cooked a dinner. I watched my son’s soccer tournament. I planned a vacation. I read non-work related books. I slept in. The anxiety lingers, but the soul is grateful. Breathe.

So many of us are overwhelmed with our lives. What do you do to find your center among the demands?

In the Aftermath of a Bronco's suicide: A Town Hall of Hope

2010-09-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

During the month of September, the news about suicide has bounced back and forth between good news and bad. First, we heard the concerning news about an increase in suicide rates in Colorado to the highest we have seen in decades. Then we honored our loved ones lost to suicide during World Suicide Prevention Day and celebrated the launch of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention. Last week, suicide made the headlines again. This time, suicide has stolen one of our Colorado stars, a young NFL player for the Denver Broncos, Kenny McKinley. The Denver Post has done a remarkable job covering this story with compassion and honesty -- in particular, Woody Paige, a columnist for the Post wrote eloquently about his response to McKinley's death and how he understood this experience, for he had been suicidal himself.

Photo by Zoetnet Photo

On Friday, the local news had reason again to pay attention. This time, it was because 75 leaders in the community converged for a Town Hall of Hope at the Carson J Spencer Foundation headquarters in Genesee. Elected officials, hospital administrators, funeral home staff, school personnel, and even a leadership business class came together to hear suicide prevention experts share information on the critical state of suicide in Colorado and offer solutions for change. Some of the recommended strategies for change include:

Better data collection on suicidal behavior -- thoughts, attempts, and response to suicide bereavement in particular
Better research on programs and treatment -- we must get a better sense out what is working and why
More screening for depression and other mental illnesses -- we need to catch people earlier on the progression of these life threatening diseases
More advocacy for public policy changes -- to increase funding for our Office of Suicide Prevention and mental health services around the state
More training in our schools, workplaces, faith communities, and other systems to help more people learn how to identify risk factors and warning signs and know what to do to get people help.
Better social marketing campaigns that help change the culture around suicide and mental health
Better support services for those bereaved by suicide
And finally...more town hall meetings to help educate the leaders of our communities and convince them that enough is enough -- it is time to cultivate a tipping point of change!

Everyone can play a role in suicide prevention -- what is your role?

Feeling the Power of a Historical Moment and World Solidarity in Suicide Prevention

2010-09-19T05:14:00.000-07:00

Photo by Alaskan Dude

Last week I found myself in an internet café near the Duomo in Florence, Italy weeping as I watched the press conference of the launch of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention ("Action Alliance")steaming live on my computer. It was September 10th – World Suicide Prevention Day, and I was in Italy after just presenting at the European Symposium on Suicide and Suicidal Behaviour. As I sat there watching President Obama’s cabinet members – Secretary Sebelius of the Department of Health and Human Services and Secretary Gates of the Department of Defense – speak so passionately about the critical need for suicide prevention in our country, I could not help but feel I was watching a turning point in our field unfold.

Suicide prevention is a relatively new field. In the United States focused efforts in research, advocacy and clinical developments began as recently as the 1960s. We move forward slowly in small pockets around the country, often fueled by the dedication of a handful of committed people. For decades the suicide prevention field has suffered from a lack of funding for and coordination of these efforts, and these barriers have hampered our progress. Last week, when we launched the Action Alliance, the field now has hope that things will be different.

The Action Alliance is a public-private partnership whose mission it is to advance the National Strategy for Suicide Prevention (NSSP) by championing suicide prevention as a national priority, catalyzing efforts to implement high priority objectives of the NSSP, and cultivating the resources needed to sustain progress. On September 10th the 41 members of Action Alliance’s Executive Committee (“EXCOM”) came to the National Press Club to hear the Secretaries and others acknowledge the historical launch on World Suicide Prevention Day. (Click here for full video coverage of the press event).

Following the press event the EXCOM convened for their orientation to the work that lies ahead. Each of them will select objectives from the NSSP and find ways to leverage resources and political will at the highest levels to achieve these broad goals. With this strategy, all boats rise.

These Executive Committee members were selected because they are top leaders from the key governmental agencies -- like the Center for Disease Control, the Army and Veteran’s Affairs, the National Institute for Mental Health and more, and the from the private sector including major philanthropists, business leaders, faith leaders, researchers, and advocates. These are the people who make things happen. As I watched it all unfold on the other side of the world, I could not help but be in awe of the potential for what lies ahead. I am so honored to be playing a role in this effort.

This launch event came on the heels of another awe-inspiring experience – the European Symposium for Suicide and Suicidal Behavior had been held in Rome, Italy the previous week. I presented five times on issues like men and suicide, positioning suicide as a social justice issue, suicide prevention in the workplace, suicide and spirituality, and the Action Alliance. I love attending these international forums – there is something so humbling about the world coming together to solve this very tragic human problem. Through linguistic and cultural differences, we work together to learn from each other and find opportunities to collaborate.

Photo from NASA Goddard Photo and Video

And the world came together again on September 10th for commemorate World Suicide Prevention Day. Not only was this the launch day of the Action Alliance, but it was also the day when hundreds of countries participated in activities and awareness-raising efforts that acknowledged the impact of suicide and promoted efforts to prevent it. Because I was abroad as this was all happening, I could not help but feel the interconnectedness of our efforts and the intimacy of our planet. Together, we are better, and we have a chance at figuring this out. Our call to action?: “Take 5 to save lives.” Everyone can reach out to help. Join the movement.

What did you do on World Suicide Prevention Day?

Working Minds Contest Winners

2010-08-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

Each year The Carson J Spencer Foundation welcomes Colorado businesses, nonprofit, for-profit or governmental agencies to compete in the Working Minds Contest. This contest is designed to showcase workplaces in our community that practice innovative and effective approaches in promoting mental health at work. This year The Denver Center for Crime Victims won the contest and will be honored at the Shining Lights of Hope Benefit Auction Evening on August 28th, 2010 (for information and tickets go to event website).

The Working Minds Contest seeks to promote workplaces that are focused on the emotional well-being of their workforce – through policy, practice and overall culture. In a time when lots of workplaces are becoming increasingly distressed, some workplaces are making a concerted effort to keep their teams thriving. We are excited to hold up the practices of our top three nominees as a model for others.

Finalists 2010

First Place: Denver Center for Crime Victims

The Denver Center for Crime Victims’ (DCCV) purpose is to provide culturally and linguistically responsive services to crime victims and crime prevention education. We are the beacon of hope and safety net for more than 6,000 people each year. Our services are broad, supporting survivors of simple theft, domestic and sexual violence, to suicide/homicide survivors. We provide crisis intervention, brief therapy, case management, financial assistance, crime scene clean up and more, all without cost to victims.

Innovative and effective approaches to promoting mental health:

“Our self care philosophy is an integral part of our workplace culture and is discussed with potential employees and volunteers and included in all job descriptions and orientations.”
“Staff creates confidential, results-oriented stretch goals addressing five areas: physical, emotional, financial, intellectual and spiritual health. These goals are supervised twice a month and included in annual evaluations. Thus, staff gets paid to take care of themselves!”
Generous leave policies and flex-time including the opportunity for a 30-day paid sabbatical
Proactive measures to prevent vicarious trauma and burnout among staff

OUTCOMES: Lower burnout and compassion fatigue rates and a higher sense of compassion satisfaction compared to the national average (as measured by Professional Quality of Life Scale)

“Compassion satisfaction is about the pleasure derived from being able to do your work well. The national average score is 37. The average score of the DCCV staff is 40, indicating a higher rate of employee satisfaction.
Burnout is associated with feelings of hopelessness and can be associated with a very high workload or a non-supportive work environment. The national average score is 22. The average score of the DCCV staff is 17, indicating a lower rate of burnout.
Compassion fatigue is the effect of work-related, secondary exposure to extremely stressful events. The national average score is 13. The average score of the DCCV staff is 11, indicating a lower rate of compassion fatigue or secondary trauma in response to our work.”

Second Place: Bayaud Enterprises

Bayaud’s mission is to provide Hope, Opportunity and Choice, with work as the means through which people with disabilities and other barriers to employment can more fully participate in the mainstream of life.

Innovative and effective approaches to promoting mental health:

“In our commitment to mental health, Bayaud has carved out money in an already tight budget to provide weekly life skills and support groups lead by a therapist. In addition, Bayaud will sponsor one on one mental health counseling for those in urgent need. Counseling services are provided through a partnership with Mindful Therapy. Bayaud is currently seeking funding to support expansion of “in-house” mental health services. Time off and schedule changes are accommodated as necessary to access mental health treatment, including extended absences from work, as required.”
“Staff meetings end with time dedicated to ‘Taking Care of Self’ where staff members discuss their stress levels and what they have planned to balance their stress. In addition to everyday supports and openness regarding mental health, Bayaud has also started a Healthy Families Program that provides information weekly regarding various Health and Wellness topics. Topics discussed are broken into four quarters of the calendar year to include Mental Health Awareness, Healthy Eating and Exercise, Disease Prevention, and Financial Health.”
“Financial struggles can also add to the stress of everyday living so Bayaud has partnered with AmeriCorps to provide onsite financial counseling services, education and free income tax services. Bayaud has also started an official Toastmaster’s group to promote confidence and the ability to give/receive criticism appropriately.”

OUTCOME: Turnover rate is less than 5%.

Third Place: Compassion and Choices

Compassion and Choices improves care and expands choice at the end of life. We support, educate and advocate.

Innovative and effective approaches to promoting mental health:

Employees are also encouraged to recognize the contribution of other employees by anonymously placing the employee’s name and accomplishment or kudos on a card and putting it in a lock box. Each month these cards are read at an all-staff meeting and all named employees get to choose from a selection of $10 gift cards as a reward.
Belongingness encouraged through regular staff lunches and project partnership
Special events such as “Pimp Your Patio” – “we happen to be in an office complex that has balconies and employee teams are put together to see who can create the most outrageous patio display.”

OUTCOMES: “High laughter and low turnover”

Lights in the Darkness and the Symbol of our Star

2010-07-17T15:35:00.000-07:00

Just weeks after my brother died in 2004, our family and his friends from across his lifespan started holding conference calls as we brainstormed our vision for the Carson J Spencer Foundation. The calls were as therapeutic as they were productive. While all of those participating loved him, not all of the friends knew each other at the beginning of our planning since they were acquainted with my brother at difference ages and places in his life. As we shared stories and ideas, we came together in our grief and our shared mission.

One of the early tasks of the group was to come up with a logo for the organization. Because Carson was such a prominent business man in Denver, the Rocky Mountain News, one of Denver’s main papers, interviewed several family members for a featured obituary following his death. The article closed with a quote from Carson’s mother-in-law, “he was a star who shone so brightly that he just burned out too quickly."

[Photo courtesy of BM01 via Flickr]

Indeed, my brother was a star in many ways. A shooting star who rose quickly as an entrepreneur in his industry and gained the admiration of many. He also had the ability to light up any room with his charming smile and pee-in-your-pants humor. His spirit was brilliant. And when stars die, their light shines on in the darkness.

One Yale professor once speculated, “…starlight, traveling in space forever, could be interpreted as an expression of immortality….long after stars have ‘died,’ photons of their energy – i.e., their light – continue to exist….It has been said that humans are made of the same stuff as stars – and we share the same energies.” --Schwartz, Garry (2002). The Afterlife Experiments. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

We wanted the Carson J Spencer Foundation to be the light of his legacy, carrying on his goodness and his spirit. Carson’s expressed legacy before he died was to help young emerging entrepreneurs get to college, so we started the Rising Star Scholarship to honor that wish. As we also acknowledged his gift of helping others and our desire to prevent what happened to him from happening to others, we began a number of programs in a social entrepreneurial spirit that are designed to prevent suicide, promote mental health, and assist those bereaved in our community. His light shines on.

The idea of stars in the dark is also the message we are trying to extend to those suffering in silence. Many have told me that being depressed feels like being trapped in a dark place with no way out. Loving, caring people can provide those inspiring points of light in the dark by offering connection and support as they hold the hope for the hopeless. Sometimes, those who are suffering can’t feel the warmth of the glow of these supporters initially, but they can be reassured by their presence and the realization that others care.

For these reasons, we have called our annual gala “Shining Lights of Hope” and we aim to recognize those individuals and organizations in our community who support the work of suicide prevention and provide compassionate assistance to those in pain. Each year we award those who have stood above the others as stars. The “Shining Lights of Hope” award goes to an individual or group that has been bereaved by suicide or who has experienced a mental health crisis and has turned that suffering into a passion to make a difference. The “Shooting Star” award goes to a organization that has selflessly gone out of their way to help our cause. Our “Volunteer of the Year” award celebrates the volunteer who has contributed significantly to moving us forward, and of course, our “Rising Star Scholar” is our chosen high school entrepreneur who receives our scholarship to help with four years of college tuition.

It’s been five years since Carson’s death, and many of us still feel the pain of his loss on a daily basis. We are comforted in part, knowing that we are living in the light of his legacy and that we are bringing forward a galaxy of stars who shine their light in the darkness for others.

…and lights shine on.

Working Minds Contest -- Celebrating Mentally Healthy Workplaces in Colorado

2010-07-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

Criteria:

Must be a Colorado workplace (nonprofit, for-profit or governmental)
Innovative and effective approaches that promote mental health at work

New and creative methods
Positive outcomes

Contest Guidelines: Submit 500-word essay that answers the question: How is mental health promoted at your workplace? What do you do and how do you know that the strategies are effective (case studies and statistics are both welcome as evidence)? Consider the following questions:

How do you educate your workforce about mental health as part of overall wellness?
What are the practices and policies that minimize distress at work?
How does the workplace support those who are experiencing mental illness, trauma or bereavement?
How does the workplace promotes a sense of purpose and belonging?

Awards:
First, second and third place awards given. Recognition at our Shining Lights of Hope Benefit Auction Evening on August 28th at LeMay Auto Museum. Awards include: complementary seats at our event, one year membership to the Working Mind Network, a free Working Minds Toolkit and training, and recognition as a "mentally healthy workplace" in local media outlets and on the Working Minds website.

Applications:
Applications should be sent electronically to Sally Spencer-Thomas: Sally@CarsonJSpencer.org. For more information or to get an application call 720-244-6535.

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Working Minds: Gaining Momentum for Suicide Prevention in the Workplace

2010-06-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

“The workplace is the last crucible of sustained human contact for many of the 30,000 people who kill themselves each year in the U.S. A co-worker’s suicide has a deep, disturbing impact on work mates. For managers, such tragedies pose challenges no one covered in management school.”

Shellenbarger – Wall Street Journal

In the suicide prevention field a gap exists: the majority of people who die by suicide are men of working age, and yet very little prevention work is targeting this demographic. While 85% of middle managers believe part of their responsibility is to identify and help employees with depression, only 18% of those managers had received training that would prepare them to do so. Since we noticed this gap, the Carson J Spencer Foundation has been on a mission, and in 2010 our vision is quickly gaining momentum.

When we formed the Carson J Spencer Foundation in 2005, our goals were two-fold, to honor the life of the man who was the foundation’s namesake and to help prevent others from going through the unimaginable mental anguish he faced as he battled a mental illness that ultimately proved fatal. When we spent 18 months or so examining the needs of the field and our unique position to fulfill them, we discovered a much-needed niche to be filled: suicide prevention in the workplace. We then spent the next couple of years developing the “Working Minds” program – a multifaceted suicide prevention program for employers. And now, as we face our 5th year anniversary, the program is gaining momentum at every turn.

The goals of the Working Minds program are three-fold:

to increase awareness that suicide is a public health issue that is preventable and that workplaces have a responsibility to respond and a vested interest in prevention and mental health promotion
to increase skills related to suicide prevention, intervention and postvention in the workplace
to offer models of recovery at the individual level and mental health promotion at the organizational level

The program components include an interactive website (www.WorkingMinds.org), a toolkit for managers, and a network of organizations that are focused on promoting mental health at work. The Working Minds Toolkit, a cornerstone of the program, offers employers an off-the-shelf curriculum to begin to change the conversation workplaces are having about mental health and suicide. The toolkit, published in November 2009, is available on Amazon and through the Working Minds website.

In 2010, we continue to see the momentum for the Working Minds Program build:

The Anschutz Family Foundation funds the Working Minds Program implementation among organizations that serve homeless populations.
Mountain States Employer’s Council, the go-to organization for HR training in the Rocky Mountain Region, agrees to offer Working Minds training to its members
The Working Minds Toolkit is accepted to the Best Practice Registry after being reviewed by national experts who determine that it adheres to standards of care
Presentations are made at the Navy’s Suicide Prevention Conference and other national and regional conferences touching leaders in the military, risk management and suicide prevention fields.

With the increasing strain of economic hardship and the challenges of reintegrating returning military from active combat into a civilian workforce, mental health concerns will continue to confront employers in many ways. The Working Minds Toolkit helps give them skills to proactively address these problems rather than just react to them.

How is your company promoting mental health and preventing suicide?

How to Organize an Inspiring, Engaging and Informative Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week

2010-06-13T16:22:00.000-07:00

The poet Robert Ingersoll once said,

“In the night of death, hope sees a star. And listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.”

How can we create hope on our campuses, when many students are suffering in silence?

Many campuses conduct a number of awareness weeks during the year, and as the mental health concerns at our colleges and university increase, many more are participating in the National Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week. Nationally this week is recognized during the second week in September while World Suicide Prevention Day is September 10th -- but really, this week can be scheduled at any time that works for your campus.

...and the time to start planning is now!

Awareness weeks are great for creating energy and for sharing information, but if you never do anything else for suicide prevention all year, you will not create significant and lasting change on your campus. Think about your Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week as a tool to gain momentum to help implement other strategies that will offer a comprehensive approach. The Suicide Prevention Resource Center offers a model that can help you figure out where to start.

[MODEL adapted from SPRC/JED Comprehensive Approach to Suicide Prevention]

In the following 15-minute podcast, I offer the: who, what, when, where, why, how and how much suggestions on how to organize an inspiring, engaging and informative Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week.

PODCAST

What have you done on your campus for Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week? Please share your successful programs.

The Daddy Whisperers: Why Dads Need their Kids

2010-05-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

The Daddy Whisperers: Why Dads Need their Kids

“Michael” hunched over his paper – partly showing me his responses and partly hiding them. I could see the words “crying, mad, sad” scribbled on the lines where he should’ve been writing the reasons why he loved his Dad. This second grader was participating in a new project called The Daddy Whisperers developed by the Carson J Spencer Foundation (CJSF). The mission of the project is to help protect fathers from feeling isolation and distress by strengthening the bond they have with their kids.

One of the things I learned through my research with men who had been suicidal, but who are now doing well, is the protective power of the fathers’ relationship with their children. Some of these men credited their children for “saving their lives” – whether it was the responsibility Dads felt for their kids or the concern they had about the legacy they would leave should they die by suicide, children factored into the Dads’ decision making process. Because of this, the CJSF staff spent a full day at a local elementary school, working with preschoolers to sixth graders and helping them communicate why they felt their Dad (or other father figure) was special.

We set out to create a Father’s Day project to bolster this bond. Because Mother’s Day falls within the school year, Mothers often receive special school-supported projects that honor motherhood, but fathers, whose special day falls in June, often do not. We adapted the model of PostSecret, a hugely successful viral on-line network where people share their secrets by communicating them in the form of an artistic postcard. For our project, we asked kids to share with us the secret reasons they love their Dads – things they think are really special about their Dad that maybe their Dad doesn’t know about.

So, I asked Michael why he was writing the words “crying, mad, sad” on his Daddy Whisperers worksheet and he told me, “My parents are getting a divorce, and they are not getting along. I see yellow trucks everywhere, and I wonder if they are my Dad coming to see me.”

I told him, “Your parents might not be getting along, but you can still love your Dad. Why don’t you start by drawing a yellow truck?”

Fifteen minutes later he brought his postcard to me. On it was a yellow pick up with a smiling boy in the back. “Can you help me write the words?” he asked.

“You bet,” I said. “What is it you want to say to your Dad?”

“Please write, ‘I love my Dad because he lets me play with him, he is the Wolf Den leader, and I like hanging out with him a lot.’”

I wrote down his messages and patted him on the back, “Good work,” I said.

He nodded and walked away smiling and my heart swelled. I hope his Dad can cherish this too.

To follow additional discoveries from our Daddy Whisperers Project, please follow: http://thedaddywhisperers.blogspot.com/

Bridging the Divide – Suicide Awareness and Prevention Summit

2010-05-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

What is it about the Mountain and Desert regions of the U.S.? Why do our states consistently trade off for top-ten spots of states having the highest suicide rates in the country (minus Alaska)? How can it be that in such beautiful, majestic country, so many people are fighting with such strong urges to die?

About 200 people came together this past week to try to figure it out at the 3rd Annual Bridging the Divide Suicide Awareness and Prevention Summit. Colorado State University hosted this event featuring a diverse selection of five plenary sessions and 18 breakout workshops – topics ranged from:

• the Myths about Suicide (Thomas Joiner) to

• how pets provide grief support (Linn-Gust) to

• strategies to dovetail fall prevention for older adults with suicide prevention (Guard).

Formats varied from Nancy Rappaport’s dramatic reading of her memoir “In Her Wake” to a panel of five people who turned their tragic struggle with the impact of suicide into passionate advocacy.

As this conference grows in scope and depth, there is evidence that we are changing the course of the devastating trend of suicide loss in our part of the country. As I mentioned in my remarks during the event, we are moving toward a tipping point of change. Change doesn’t happen in a steady fashion; rather it builds slowly and then shifts in an instant. Eco psychologist Joanna Macy equated the change to water becoming ice: “Before the water turns to ice, it looks just the same as before. Then a few crystals form, and suddenly the whole system undergoes cataclysmic change.”

From Net Efekt

Can you feel the crystals forming?

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What do you think will help us change the high rates of suicide in our Western regions?

Suicide Prevention in Colorado – Together We Are Better

2010-05-02T18:17:00.000-07:00

When suicide makes the news, many of us cringe because the coverage – often sensationalized and overly simplistic – can increase the risk that vulnerable people may act on suicidal thoughts as a result.

Today was different.

Today was a milestone day for the suicide prevention movement in Colorado – our story made the front page of the Denver Post’s Sunday edition, complete with pictures and graphs that demonstrated both the deep need in our state and the exceptional efforts being made to save lives.

Like many of the Rocky Mountain states, Colorado’s suicide rate continues to be high despite the dedicated efforts of many suicide prevention organizations. Kevin Simpson, the Denver Post reporter, spent more than a month collecting information for this article. In this article he highlights the fact that while many are fighting this war against suicide, our resources are continually stripped, making this challenging work even more difficult. By interviewing so many of us who consider ourselves foot soldiers in this battle, he did another important thing – he helped to show how our field is becoming united in our efforts.

As competition for scarce resources increases the risk for internal conflict, suicide prevention groups in Colorado are finding creative ways to collaborate because we know that “together we are better.”

In many ways, Colorado is seen as a leading state in the effort of suicide prevention. Thanks to pioneers like Deanna Rice and others who testified before the state legislature in the 1990s and helped create our Office of Suicide Prevention, we became one of the first states to have an official state strategy for suicide prevention. Other pioneers like LaRita Archibald (founder of HEARTBEAT support groups) and Vivian Epstein (founder of Parents Surviving Suicide) started support groups for families bereaved by suicide long before most people realized the unique challenges of suicide grief. Hotline support has evolved through the steadfast dedication of Eleanor Hamm and others out of our crisis center for decades. And of course, there is the far-reaching work of the Emme family and the Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program, whose message lets youth know that “it’s okay to ask for help.”

More recently, we have seen the explosion of the incredibly effective work of Jeff Lamontagne and The Second Wind Fund, who are helping uninsured and underinsured youth at-risk for suicide link to qualified help. Sheila Linwood in Mesa County, Ronna Autrey in Routt County, Dana Lindsay in Larimer County, Nancy Harris in Otero County, Susan Marine in Boulder County and many more – are all finding ways to learn from each other to save lives in Colorado.

"Long's Peak from North, Rocky Mountain National Park," Colorado.

From: U.S. National Archives’ Local Identifier: 79-AA-M16

Photographer: Adams, Ansel, 1902-1984

The reorganization of the Suicide Prevention Coalition of Colorado is another piece of evidence of our pulling together. Knowing that our rural communities need as much (perhaps even more) support than the Denver metro efforts, we now use audio and video conferencing technology to engage communities statewide. When we have better knowledge of the strengths of each organization we are much less likely to duplicate efforts.

The 3rd annual Bridging the Divide Suicide Awareness and Prevention Summit (May 20 & 21, 2010 at Colorado State University) is still another example of successful collaboration. For this conference, clinicians, researchers, advocates and those impacted by suicide share knowledge and resources.

The impact of suicide often remains hidden to the world. The fact that we have such few resources to deal with this profound public health tragedy is a moral outrage. Kevin’s article helped shed some light on the deep need in our state and the potential for a different future.

Help those in a position of creating change pay attention – spread the word.

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Please take a moment to thank Kevin for his coverage by writing him a note: ksimpson@denverpost.com

To join the Suicide Prevention Coalition of Colorado – CLICK HERE

To register for the “Bridging the Divide Suicide Prevention Summit” – CLICK HERE

Reflections on the Family of Suicidologists

2010-04-25T17:31:00.000-07:00

When I arrived at my hotel on Tuesday evening, I was weary from a long flight from Denver to Orlando and looking forward to a quiet restful evening. No sooner did I drag my bags through the rotating doors when I was greeted by a half dozen other weary travelers with big smiles and warm hugs. I said, “I guess I am in the right place.”

Photo by edanley

You see, about 1,000 of us suicidologists traveled across the country, some as far away as Australia to come together for the annual American Association of Suicidologists’ conference. Even though most of us only see each other once a year, we are like a tightly knit extended family. In fact, it was difficult to get to all of our sessions in time because inevitably we would cross paths with at least two or three old friends every time we moved from room to room and the hugging and chatting would delay our arrival.

What makes this conference so special to me is that everyone works together. We have researchers working alongside clinicians. Families bereaved by suicide loss and suicide attempt survivors are working alongside those advocating for public policy change. People working for the military are listening to what is happening on our college campuses. We have support and compassion for people who have just recently lost a loved one to suicide, and we honor those who have dedicated their lives to the cause. Brilliant thinkers listen intently to understand so they can ask better research questions and understanding their findings. Passionate advocates and counselors soak up best practices to improve their efforts. And at the end of the day, we get together over a couple of beers and laugh.

Another reason this field inspires me is that we are a dedicated and scrappy group. With fire in our bellies we continue to try to figure out one of the most tragic human experiences. And we don’t give up. When funding gets cut, we get ultra-resourceful. When the media turn away from the good stories we have to tell, we keep knocking on the door. We are able to persist through hardship because of our unwavering commitment to saving lives and because of the support we get from one another. Even though we are in tough economic times, our association’s growth continues.

Highlights on the conference include:

• Asking two of my friends to sign books they had written that were just published within the last month (Thomas Joiner, The Myths of Suicide and Michelle Linn-Gust Rocky Roads: The Journeys of Families through Suicide Grief)

• Seeing the Clinician-Survivor task force take off – integrating the divisions of research, bereavement and clinical practice to open the conversation of how mental health service providers cope with the impact of suicide loss, personally and professionally

• Presenting with colleagues on topics we care about such as:

o Reaching men at risk for suicide who don’t seek help

o Assimilating the benefits of spirituality into suicide prevention, intervention and Postvention

o Looking at the challenges and opportunities of working in systems like college campuses, workplaces and the military

o Helping those bereaved by suicide become “survivors in action”

[Picture is of the memory quilt made in honor of my brother Carson Spencer (1969-2004)]

On our last evening of the conference, those who had lost loved ones to suicide gathered in a circle in reflection. Memory quilts lined the walls around us as we “lit” battery powered candles (the hotel was afraid of the fire hazard of lighting real ones) and Iris Bolton led us in a ritual where we said the names of our loved ones out loud. We cried, held hands and were witness to each other’s grief. Never forget. Never give up. See you next year.

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If you were at this conference with me over the last five days – please share your highlights in the comment box.

If you want to learn more about joining the American Association of Suicidology: CLICK HERE

The Peak Payoffs of Persistence

2010-04-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

Last night was one of those nights when my taste buds far outpaced my stomach. Randy and I were celebrating 15 years of marriage in glorious Estes Park, Colorado when we found ourselves in Mary's Lake Lodge where ever y dish was more magnificent than the one before. Gorging on hearty homemade, multi-grain bread, succulent crab cakes, and savory seafood stew, I found I had no room left for even a chocolate covered strawberry. And now, the morning after, we faced a bad food hangover. Our distended bellies kept us up all night and threatened to ruin our plans for a great day of hiking up Lily Mountain. As we lay in a way-too-comfortable bed, we faced our first decision of the day: to give into the consequences of our poor choices and roll back into our food-induced coma, or to start the day anew and get the blood flowing again. Like all things that first appear like an insurmountable challenge, the most important task is just the commitment to give it a go – we put the feet on the floor and started moving.

As the glorious Colorado sunshine beckoned us outside, we packed up our wiry mutt Apache and started out to the trailhead. April hiking at 9,000 feet above sea level can be a little unpredictable – warm air temperatures don’t necessarily mean you won’t be fighting snow and ice the whole way up the mountain. The climb wasn’t epic – just an afternoon jaunt up a decent piece of vertical, but with the slush, we found ourselves sliding back a food for every two we advanced.

At high altitudes, fatigue comes quickly, and soon the burning quad muscles and labored breathing reminded us how hard we were working. We passed another couple who had pulled off to the side of the trail. The less than ideal conditions had defeated them and they were refueling before heading back down.

“One foot and then another.” I reminded myself not to get discouraged as my hiking boots sank ankle deep in the slush with every step. Randy, Apache and I lumbered on until we reached a cascade of boulders that required us to scramble up using both hands and feet and lots of concentration.

“This is it!” I thought, “We must be close to the summit. One more push to the top.”

The dog inspired us with his bold leaps up the snowy crevasses, and we followed his lead. Getting good hand holds where we could, we pulled ourselves up one boulder at a time. And then, in an instant, there it was – the breathtaking 180 degree expanse of snow capped peaks breaking through to the stunning cobalt sky. The rush if it all poured over me as I stood on the summit looking at the steep drop of on all sides. The strong heart beats were now sprinkled with exhilaration, and I remembered, “Oh yeah, this is why I do this.”

You don’t get the rush when the journey is easy.

When we can conquer the negative voices that tell us that the million little things that aren’t going are way are going to crush us, the taste of our victory is even sweeter. I closed my eyes and took a big sip of the moment to savor the reward in every cell of my body, so that when I need it I can remind myself later: when I am frustrated by the hassles of daily life, I know there is great payoff in persisting to the peak.

For more about great places to hike in Colorado with dogs: http://www.trails.com/activity.aspx?area=15254

Sally Spencer-Thomas
"Up on the High Wire: Mental Resiliency during Tough Times"

Be Bold
Belong
Be Well
Believe

www.CAMPUSPEAK.com/speakers/spencer-thomas

Suicide Preventon as a Social Justice Issue

2010-04-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

A new social movement is emerging, and it’s gaining momentum. As I speak at conferences and on campuses from coast to coast, I find that audiences first tilt their heads with intrigue and then nod with enthusiasm as I explain what it means to position suicide prevention as a social justice issue.

We can easily understand that suicide is a mental health issue. When authorities report that an estimated 90% of people who die by suicide suffer from some diagnosable mental illness or substance abuse condition, we can clearly see the link between the two. However, if we only view suicide through the mental health lens, we will be very limited in our ability to create systematic change. When we look at suicide prevention through this lens, the change agents are the mental health service providers, who work with individuals who are suffering; one on one, one at a time.

In order to take a more “upstream” approach to this, we need to think more broadly and conceptualize suicide prevention as a public health issue. When we view suicide through this lens, we can plainly see that many systems are involved in creating change – schools, workplaces, healthcare systems, justice, faith communities and more. Everyone can play a role in suicide prevention. We can also learn to appreciate that change begins through an emphasis on bolstering protective factors like social connections and resilience as much as it does on medication and treatment.

But, I would argue, even this perspective falls short. Because if you haven’t been touched by suicide directly, you are usually unaware of its widespread and devastating impact and therefore, less inclined to allocate your energy toward targeting this particular health issue over others. What is needed is a social justice approach to suicide prevention. We can take notes from the breast cancer movement that has modeled for us how to create a tipping point of change by bringing the strength of community solidarity to engage a wider circle. Breast cancer survivors are bolstered by others who cheer their courage and stand with them through their struggle. Those who have lost their battle to breast cancer are remembered with honor. Many who have not been touched by the impact of breast cancer are moved by the energy of the large walks and moving testimonies of healing and recovery and want to know how they can help.

So what are the aspects of injustice we need to fight against? For one, we have a grave imbalance in the way we treat mental health conditions and the way we treat other physical disorders. Because of this imbalance, people with mental health conditions often have a terrible time accessing adequate care. There are too few mental health treatment options and most of them are too costly for the average person. As my colleague Dr. Doug Johnson once said to me, “We have a psycho-social injustice problem. We have Americanized mental illness – by looking for quick fixes and ignoring the emotional impact of marginalization.”

In addition, we have developed dysfunctional narratives in our country about mental health conditions that get reinforced in careless media reports and lead to further isolation and hopelessness. People are genuinely afraid to reach out to get the help they need to survive – if that is not a social justice issue, I do not know what is.

For more information about how we all can get involved:

http://www.peoplepreventsuicide.org/ -- a clearinghouse of resources for college campuses

http://www.workingminds.org/ -- suicide prevention for the workplace

http://www.carsonjspencer.org/ -- sustaining a passion for life through suicide prevention, social enterprise and support for emerging leaders

NOTE: Balloon picture is from a recent "Out of Darkness Walk" in Denver, Colorado. Hundreds of people gathered together in solidarity to honor loved ones lost to suicide (remembering each with a balloon released in silence) and walked to raise money for suicide prevention.